sunshine19217
United States
Today, I took the time to make myself look nice just so that the pizza guy would think I had a life. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
moonlight77
Today, I deliberately snapped a pic of myself and edited it to add to my story, in order to make my ex think I have a life on a Saturday night. FML
welp
Belton, United States
Today, I was making a homemade pizza for myself. I've been unhappy lately, so I arranged the pepperoni in the shape of a smiley face to cheer myself up. The pizza burned. FML
FriutlessApple
United Kingdom
Forever alone
Today, feeling bored and lonely, I drove into town to wander around the shops and go to Subway for lunch. While there, I picked up two trays and put one on the opposite side of the table, along with some of my rubbish, to make it look like I was with someone. FML
Anonymous
Enterprise, United States
Classic
Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML
extraflavour
United Kingdom
Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML
Darwin_Award_Winner
Beaumont, United States
Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML
Lifeless
United States
Today, I put on makeup for a picture. My Facebook profile picture. That's how much of a life I actually have. FML
Anonymous
Relatable
Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML
sad and hungry
Hackensack, United States
Enjoy!
Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Fake it til you make it
Today, I tried to sound like I had my life together by bragging to a friend about how I meal prep every week. In reality, I’m sitting here eating a cold slice of pizza for lunch that I found in the back of my fridge. FML
Top comments
PhillyFox 0
Why would he care?
UpsidedownKayak 9
OP, he delivers pizza to you, I don't know how often, but he does. He knows you always order a single pizza and that there is no one there with you. Sorry, but you aren't fooling him but you might get him inside to deliver his tip. Does this sound like the beginning of a **** movie to anyone else?
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Comments (73)
pfdelisa 0
I think it's fun just to look like a bum when the pizza guy comes
CanadianKid91 0
Then get a life.
robbrown56 0
At least the pizza guy got to see you....
Illblowyourmind 3
what what?
tanjoodo 3
So, how would you F a life you don't have?
saleha97 4
why don't you go get a life?
bighead5890 0
Kill yo self
Brittneyyyy 7
People are too self-conscious about these things. I'm sure he wouldn't have thought twice if you didn't get all dressed up for him :/
RUSH777 0
Normally I have something sarcastic and rude to say, but I actually sympathize for you, OP. =[
lildudee 0
my girl bestfriend flashed me accidentally. this would have been cool if only it didn't follow by a punch to the ribs. I now have a image if some 34C's in my head and a badly bruised rib. FML