Kids: Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital....

By mickey1928 - 12/01/2010 13:10

Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our baby, and said, "Look, it's the fat kid that was in the nursery." My baby is six and a half pounds, and my wife hasn't stopped crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 960

You deserved it 2 896

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By notpreggo - 01/05/2017 12:00

Today, I was taking my 3-month-old nephew for a walk in his stroller, when a lady stopped me to coo over him. Then she patted my stomach and said, "Don't worry, you'll lose the baby weight soon". I've never had a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 994

You deserved it 698

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 17:30 - United States

Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 479

You deserved it 10 355

By Lennyr - 28/08/2016 06:36 - United States - Union City

Today, I gave birth to my first born child. Somehow, my mom and mother in law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother in law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 541

You deserved it 1 094

By SocietyToday - 27/08/2017 13:00

Today, I was grocery shopping with my older sister. An elderly couple passed, and the man pointed to my sister, saying, "She LOVES to eat." My sister is 7 months pregnant, and I had to spend the next hour comforting her as she bawled her eyes out because of an off-hand comment from a stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 094

You deserved it 299

Comedic timing

By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 16:00 - United States - Knoxville

Today, while at a family baby shower, my grandfather thought it would be funny to inform me, in front of everyone, that I had gotten fat. I'm 7 months pregnant and the baby shower was for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 172

By me - 06/05/2013 00:56 - United States - Floresville

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 555

You deserved it 6 955

You have been warned

By anne - 17/06/2017 22:00

Today, I happily told my husband I'm pregnant. He happily informed me that very, VERY large babies run in his family, and even though he was born 3 weeks early, he still weighed 15 lbs. The smallest baby to ever be born into his family was his great grandmother, who was 12 lbs. OH GOD, THE PAIN. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 258

You deserved it 805

By Pudgymom - 21/10/2016 02:08

Today, I ran into an old friend at the store with my infant daughter. As we caught up, she assured me that I could get rid of all my baby weight from the pregnancy. If only I had actually been pregnant. My wife carried her and looks fantastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 421

You deserved it 1 733

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 02:43 - United States - Titusville

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 250

You deserved it 3 525

By kimm1993 - 03/08/2013 04:29 - United States - Chicago

Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 689

You deserved it 8 459

RobotSox 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:06

You should of replied "Look, its those wrinkled prunes that go around insulting newborn babies". That'll teach them ;DD

idkweird 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:05

How is this an FML? The chubby babies are usually the cutest and the healthiest. Fat babies are the best.

Comments

DreamerofWorlds 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:51

Me and my sisters all weighed 8 lbs and a few ounces when we were born. I was a little over 21 inches too. 6.5 is SO not fat. I feel bad for your wife. :( She's too hormonal to have to put up with bull like that right now.

summer99 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:53

umm im pretty sure that's an average, healthy weight for a baby. any smaller than that and it would be considered unhealthy.

A2091 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:53

How horrible of those old people, I bet your baby girl is gorgeous!

slatter 1

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:53

perdix 29

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:54

Maybe you can get that little porker some liposuction before you leave the hospital.

perdix 29

Tuesday 12 January 2010 23:22

Oh, come on! That was the only part of that movie "Bruno" that was funny!

klimpomppp 9

Tuesday 7 May 2013 16:11

Dont worry perdix, i found your comment funny *pats on the head*

randomaccountnam 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:55

YDI for having a fat baby.

warriormg12 4

Wednesday 13 January 2010 0:46

I was 9 pounds 7 ounces and i didnt turn out fat so stfu

catatonicsleep 17

Wednesday 13 January 2010 15:48

i was the opposite, 5lb baby, now i'm nearly overweight. my brother on the other hand was born 7lb 11oz, now he's really skinny

imlifeless2 25

Wednesday 7 August 2013 21:31

why don't you join the old jerks at the assholes convention, 35? I'm sure you'd have a great time.

holaworld 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:59

that was harsh

zom_fml 10

Tuesday 12 January 2010 21:04

I was 6 and a half pounds! /irrelevant comment No, but those people suck. The only thing to say about anyone's baby is 'How cute!' or 'Wow, look at that nose...'