Kids: Today, I told my son about wet dreams, what they are and how...

By BrandonDrapeau - 03/08/2015 02:57 - United States - Sparta

Today, I told my son about wet dreams, what they are and how they are normal. Afterwards, he exclaimed, "It's kinda like when I beat off, except I'm asleep! Awesome!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 670

You deserved it 3 593

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Same thing different taste

By todaddy - 23/05/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 197

You deserved it 4 736

By WOCOACH - 09/09/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 888

You deserved it 5 038

By Anonymous - 15/03/2015 04:23 - United States - Statesboro

Today, I went to the grocery store with my four-year-old. She has some issues with wetting the bed, so I told her that if she wasn't sure if she was dreaming about "going", she should pinch herself to make sure she's awake. In the produce section, she pinched herself, smiled proudly, and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 415

You deserved it 5 489

By ScoobieDoo - 20/03/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

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You deserved it 66 842

By finalyearsofhate - 13/03/2017 22:00

Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 294

You deserved it 546

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 514

You deserved it 64 301

By I don't know, son - 16/11/2013 01:53 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

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You deserved it 4 777

By Anonymous - 13/08/2013 08:49 - France - Paris

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 587

You deserved it 4 250

By Anonymous - 12/03/2014 03:34 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 896

You deserved it 6 117

By milf - 06/08/2012 01:10 - United States - Muncie

Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 193

You deserved it 5 241

MegasaurusRex89 28

Monday 3 August 2015 9:36

That has to be THE most uncomfortable sentence one could say to a parent.

Miss_Mandi 29

Monday 3 August 2015 9:36

Did somebody beat you to a sex talk with your son, OP? ...Now that I think about it, it was probably the internet.

Comments

worldclassrager 39

Monday 3 August 2015 15:40

Am I the only one who read the sentence with a tone of excitement?

Smooth_Criminal 24

Monday 3 August 2015 20:48

Not at all.

EvilLittleMan 23

Monday 3 August 2015 16:35

High-five for that reply !

Liu1992 14

Monday 3 August 2015 16:51

哈哈，I'm going to beat off!

OrpheusTelos 4

Monday 3 August 2015 17:22

i mean...at least he's honest?

chuchusheep 19

Monday 3 August 2015 17:30

oh dear.

jack67_fml 14

Monday 3 August 2015 17:38

Ha! That kid is savage

xcrunner5671 4

Monday 3 August 2015 17:39

How is this an fml exactly?

writerchic85 25

Monday 3 August 2015 17:54

At least he's not embarrassed by his body

randomcritic 14

Monday 3 August 2015 18:00

How old is he?! Sorry about the awkwardness, but at least you're being a good parent by letting him know what to expect.

beachtrash 7

Monday 3 August 2015 18:25

Wet dreams are only normal if you go too long without release. Many men don't have wet dreams at all, because they have enough sex and/or because they take matters into their own hands frequently. OP: just because you think they're normal doesn't mean they'll be a nornal part of your son's life.