Today...I started my day with a head cold and sore throat. I...

By Anonymous - 30/03/2019 22:00

Today...I started my day with a head cold and sore throat. I am ending the day with my period and explosive diarrhea. Oh and to top it all off, I live in the midwest, where the wind chills are going to be -50 tomorrow...FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 077

You deserved it 183

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Funday is canceled

By Anonymous - 04/12/2022 16:00

Today, I’m currently battling a cold that caused me to call into work yesterday and, as of this morning, I’ve also started my period and have the most painful cramps ever. Good thing I have the day off from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 134

By Unlucky - 24/05/2010 00:22 - Australia

Today, I have both a cold and a period. Tomorrow, I will have a cold, my period and my wisdom teeth taken out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 473

You deserved it 3 803

Frozen

By Cold!!! - 23/01/2025 20:00 - United States - Steele

Today, thanks to a wonderful -40°F wind chill (I'm in the Midwest), I woke up this morning to a freezing cold house. I had to wear my shoes, a coat, and gloves. Indoors. For the whole morning and most of the afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 100

By Zak - 23/03/2012 23:10 - United States

Today, I've been sick with both a chest cold and a sore throat. As a result, I've also been dehydrated, causing me to have a headache. Whenever I cough, I feel like my throat is being ripped apart and my head is about to explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 230

You deserved it 3 445

By Xpload - 29/01/2014 18:26 - United States - Lake Orion

Today, I woke up with a skull-splitting headache. I braved the wind and freezing temperatures to get to work. Today is also the day my boss thought it would be cute to let the elementary school band play at our office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 481

You deserved it 4 247

By Anonymous - 03/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, the midwest blizzard hit my town, burying the roads in snow. All the local stores are closed. I'm not only currently on my period, but I'm out of pads and toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 502

You deserved it 10 491

I'm in hell

By lukey101 - 04/12/2024 01:00 - Australia

Today, I tested positive for Influenza A. I’m either sweating bullets or shivering cold, coughing my ass off, sneezing constantly, snotting out my eyeballs, and aching all over. To top it off it’s hot and stormy, flooding in part of town with 100% humidity, and the power just cut out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 81

By _SouthernClass_ - 29/08/2019 12:00 - United States

Today, my youngest child gave me the cold she had. I also started my period yesterday. Now I can’t stop coughing, and I feel like a human ketchup packet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 867

You deserved it 196

By SickSmick - 09/02/2010 12:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 603

You deserved it 3 493

Having a great time!

By indiemusicnerdgirl - 26/06/2022 10:00

Today, I have severe sun poisoning, a migraine, have been getting dehydrated no matter how much water I drink, and am on my period with horrible cramps. Yay summer! FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 168

Sinshine 28

Saturday 30 March 2019 23:04

On the positive side, in the bathroom you won't feel the cold wind!

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 30 March 2019 23:07

Rx: Stay indoors. — Dr. Pencil

Comments

Sinshine 28

Saturday 30 March 2019 23:04

On the positive side, in the bathroom you won't feel the cold wind!

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 30 March 2019 23:07

Rx: Stay indoors. — Dr. Pencil

EmDizzle2007 28

Sunday 31 March 2019 10:12

what part of the midwest??

abfab5300 13

Sunday 31 March 2019 10:20

Those temperatures were eight weeks ago...

Jesse Wartnick 15

Monday 1 April 2019 9:49

See if you can get your diarrhea to freeze in mid air

Taylor Lancaster 4

Wednesday 3 April 2019 15:23

I hate to say you are being dramatic but there is nowhere in the midwest that was at -50 on the 30th or the 1st..

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Today, according to my husband's brother, he only went on a second date with me all those years ago because I gave him head on our first date. His father and stepmother supported this claim as well. I can’t decide if I’m more embarrassed they know, or furious that he told them something so crude. FML

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Today, while on vacation, I lost my virginity to this really cute girl from Canada. I texted my older cousin to brag about it, to which he replied, “A girl from Canada? That’s the oldest cliché lie in the book.” I didn’t know it was cliché. FML

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The Top

Today, I woke up on the last day of my vacation at the beach to find that my dog had chewed a hole in the wall of my rented house, 2 hours before the owner arrived to check for any damage. FML

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You deserved it 6 795

Today, I accidentally left my bedroom light on all day. When I got home, my mum screamed at me for wasting electricity. This is the same woman who leaves the TV on all day while she’s at work, all so our dogs have something to watch and won't be “bored”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 177

You deserved it 1 471

Today, I took a online midterm for a 400 level class I need to graduate this winter. I didn't realize that Proctorio links your computer to your phone, so when I opened my phone and googled the exact question, it gave me a notification on my screen which Proctorio screen recorded. FML

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Today, I chose to wear khaki dress pants to class to look professional. I was in the hallway when one of my professors pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling well. Apparently, the dryer had "eaten" my pants and made a large brown stain on the butt, making it look like I had crapped myself. FML

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Today, at work, an overweight man riding an electric cart started peeing all around the store. I had to clean it up. FML

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Today, at my wit's end, I had to have a conversation with my dog's trainer. During the pandemic, my otherwise housebroken dog began to pee in my bathroom whenever my boyfriend and I have sex. Our sex life is suffering and we went from 2-3 times a week to 8 times in the last year… with 8 matching piss puddles. FML

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You deserved it 221