Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
Today I was walking around the mall and I saw my crush from high school. He came up to me and, instead of talking to him, I burped, and he just walked away. FML
Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for two years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML
Today, I've been into this guy at work forever, and we've been flirting more and more lately. Today he came up behind me, but I didn't see him. He said "Hi!" and scared me so bad that I farted. FML
Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML
Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML
Today, I was seeing my boyfriend for the first time in 3 weeks. I was so excited to see him that I gave him a big hug. He must have been excited to see me too, because he hugged me so tight that he squeezed a fart out of me. FML
Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
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Top comments
upsidedownn 8
You blew him away. :)
puppster391 16
Well that... stinks ;D
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Comments (86)
fenixtorador1 11
Well that's attractive..?
YoungMisfit 9
I smell love in the air
AidenSurvival 7
It'll blow away.
broken_red_wagon 6
Ha! :D
fsomelife 26
Taken from the diary of Pearl the Octopus.
simoncat 11
Ah you made me ink
Tempest559 12
I like a girl who can fart in front of me. Don't worry.
buckdharma 38
I would prefer if she farted behind my back.
buckdharma 38
Where's that fat guy when you need him?
OldMemoriesFade 8
And everybody blames the fat guy!
DoubleBlumpkin 4
Fear fart? You have been blessed with a natural self defense mechanism..congrats.
pdp_fml 21
Did he speak to you? If not then there wouldn't nothing to worry about. Were you able to strike up a conversation?
buckdharma 38
Yes, butt only in body language...
bhujwala 2
You should have told him that he brings the fartatious side out of you
Dnigz13 4
My younger sister farts uncontrollably when she's nervous.... And I mean uncontrollably, she doesn't stop, but it's extremely funny unless your in the car with her and she gets scared