Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML
Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML
Today, what started as a family gathering turned into an all-out brawl. I saw my son’s wife punch him, so I hit her. Her mom and sister jumped me. My husband was pulling them off when the other husband thought he was attacking them and jumped in, so my son jumped in as well. We won, at least. FML
Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
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Top comments
cbadbeachbabe 0
silly goose
gambol 10
breakin' up fights: yer doin' it wrong.
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Comments (203)
w01ph13 0
A) You are a total ******* tool. B) It is not the 1800's you can say balls nowadays. And lastly, C) You might have deserved it for being so damn sarcastic.
natty098 2
A) No he's not, he was just helping. B) At least he has class, instead of being rude and saying balls. And lastly, C) In what way was he being sarcastic? I agree with 105#
shelboo_fml 0
You *have* to know how to do that right or you'll __[a] be completely unheard and ignored __ or [b] Get the crap kicked out of yourself ... as you've learned
sublime93 0
Well i think, that you read the other fml that used the term 'happy sacks' & came up with a clever way to use it in your own fml. Therefore, you fail.
sugar_407 0
YDI for saying "happy sacks" and stealing that off another FML
Ludaman44 0
YDI for: 1. Marching 2. Saying right, which is like the bear call in mating when a bear fights another bear for a female. 3. Calling your genitalia "happy sacks", they are now angry sacks. 4. Marching 5. Breaking up a fight. 6. Marching.
natty098 2
1. Shut up. he didn't actually "march" he was using it as a term. 2. Wtf? a bear fighting call? You retard! He was saying it as in "Right! Stop fighting!" 3.GET THE **** OVER THE FACT HE SAID HAPPY SACKS! IT ISN'T THAT BAD! OMFG! WHOEVER IS ANNOYED ABOUT THAT CAN GO **** THEMSELVES! 4. You said marching already dipshit. 5. Of course you shouldn't go right into someone else's business but fights just can't be happening all the time! 6. You little ******* ****! You have written marching 3 times now!
Caldwell94 0
Why did you yell "right!" and march to the fight? are you by any chance a drill team leader?
xkitten 0
w t f ?
william0090 0
you seem like someone i would really dislike if i met you in person. wtf... "right!"??
AshleyRose784 0
learn to mind your business
Lautaro 0
This. Sometimes you should just stay the **** out. YDI.
irrelevantxx 0
HAPPY SACKS. that is all.