By farksh - 07/03/2015 12:14 - Australia

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML
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Top comments

cutycat136 28

Okay. Now just don't think of the size of that spider and its long legs taking it all the way to the couch tonight. Good luck OP :)

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Comments

Britt125 16

Sleep on the couch? **** that, I'd get the hell out of that house faster than you can blink, and never go back until I had a flamethrower to burn the sucker down. I wouldn't trust the little ****** to not come find me while I was sleeping and vulnerable.

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whiter 13

Happened to me once too. Some say the spider still lives in my room plotting its vengeance...

8 0
False_Stupidity 41

Build a ring of fire around the couch and then a good solid ring of surface spray as well. Its the only way you can sleep peacefully on the couch. (Disclaimer: Surface spray may be flammable and result in a horrible fiery death.)

4 1
xluciferx666 21

Just abandon the house it belongs to the spider now

4 3
Ziggy122 15

If there's one thing I've learned from FML, it's that Australia is an arachnophobe's worst nightmare.

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Levvy 22

Realy, irisiridescent? And what spider would that be? Is it a relative of the Two-Step Viper? Maybe the Hoop Snake? The jackalope? The Mothman? As I mentioned in a comment further down, the literal most venemous spider on the entire planet can't kill a healthy adult, and has literally not killed ANYONE (unhealthy or otherwise) since the development of antivenom. So I'd be absolutely fascinated to hear about this mythical terminator-spider that uses the same timetable as a pizza delivery joint that's apparently gone unnoticed by the entire field of zoology.

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Wolfipoo 31

That's gotta be scary OP, hope you find it, or better yet, hope you find a small fire where it should be that puts itself after.

1 0
Scryll 17

5-10 minutes for that spider tops to make it to the couch good luck

2 1
rainbotato 14

this is why you must always confirm the kill

5 1
Jacei3eleren 2

spiders don't have the cognitive functions necessary to store memory much less a desire for vengeance. ..ull be fine.

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Levvy 22

Wow. People getting downvoted for literally not believing spiders can plot revenge. I know arachnophobia became trendy on the internet a while back, but man. Even the worst fashion cliques in the world aren't this aggressive in shouting down people who don't take part in them.

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