Today, I received an award from my school rewarding me for my honor roll and my cheerleading. When I brought the certificate home my mom congratulated me and hugged me. I worked really hard for this and all my dad had to say was, "Try this flavor of Doritos." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I won an award at school for my hard work. Afterwards, my parents told me off. Why? They wanted my brother to get it instead of me. FML
Today, I attended my school's special invitation-only awards ceremony, relieved that I was getting a much-needed scholarship. I watched all my friends go up and win scholarships. In the end, I only got a certificate for doing well on the PSAT. My whole family showed up for this. FML
Today, on Halloween, I received an award for my progress at my drug rehab clinic. I told my mom we should celebrate by going out to eat. Her response? "I got you a turkey sandwich from the hospital cafeteria." Thanks Mom. FML
Today, I was granted a donation to pay for a creative writing course. When I told my mom she couldn't even muster a smile. She found her excitement later, however, when she posted how proud she was of me on Facebook. I can only get praise through my mom attention-whoring on social media. FML
Today, while at a grocery store, I told my mom I had some good news. She exclaimed, "You finally got a boyfriend?!" No mom, just an A on my math test. FML
Today, I received my acceptance letter to one of the most prestigious universities in the US, as well as a nice scholarship. I was so proud of myself, I eagerly showed my dad, hoping he would shed a tear or two. His only words were, "Just get a job so you can get the hell out of my house." FML
Today, I told my mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making my favorite cookies and dinner. FML
Today, I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple. Not the computer, the fruit. FML
Today, at the awards ceremony at my school, I ended up winning the top achievement award in my grade. The principal spent at least ten minutes talking about my success to the audience, the whole time referring to me as a "he" as I stood right next to him. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I got a text from my mom that said, "Your dad and I are so proud of you." Sweet, right? It was meant for my brother. FML
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Top comments
mikey2469 0
awe didn't get your ego stroked? quit your bitchin.
texas_justice 0
...pretty good doritos?
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Comments (205)
nuklear7 0
don't sweat it. it just sounds to me like he knew you could do it all along. and that he was in no way shape or form surprised. men wear their hearts on their sleeves, so forgive him of that. but if it makes you feel better, ask him about it in private. congrats!
ThatLooksSticky 16
What an insensitive prick! Cheerleaders don't eat Doritos!
Sarahlovesyour 0
It's true. They filter feed.
kybabyy 4
haha. that made me giggle. (:
powde12 0
that was a goodn but you gotta be more specific ... femail cheerleaders don't eat doritos but us guys we eat anything that will keep us strong such as doritos
corme_fml 0
guy..... cheerleaders?
hassenpfeffermmm 0
He knew you'd do it all along.
nutrality 0
I'm not going to lie but i think that is quote funny. I'm sure he does care.
rb257 0
no one cares and your life doesn't suck
e_pi_i_plus1 0
i didn't know they even bothered to hand out scholar athlete awards for cheer... but then again, i got two of those suckers from my time playing golf, so i guess you maybe sorta deserved the award? (don't worry, i played real sports also, ie baseball, basketball, soccer, and cross country....) but in all fairness OP, my guess is you had to have a 3.5 or so to get one of those things.... at least that's what i had to be above to get mine.... (seemed like a big deal at the time....) so, props, keep the grades up, you'll thank yourself later...
kroms001_fml 0
FYL for being a cheerleader.
Zak1616 0
I see where this is going. Very soon she will most likely start having a lot of one night stands and sexual partners all because daddy didn't care.
MMG93 8
Well, while doritos are the best chip on this planet, I feel they could've probably waited a few minutes.
dugumit 0
ooooooooommmmmmmggggggg your life is soooo totally overrrrrr. your dad rocks.