Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML
Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me several flowers and chocolate boxes to my office. It ends up that he cheated on me with my sister and tried to break the news to me after all the presents he sent. I thought he actually remembered our anniversary this year. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a sweet text message, since he recently complained that I'm rarely romantic. Instead of being happy, he decided that since it's so out of character for me, I must be cheating on him and must have only sent it out of guilt. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me so many nice texts that he made me fall in love with him that little bit more. It turns out he was sweetening me up before telling me he cheated on me the night before. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a bouquet of flowers he'd picked himself. This would’ve been romantic, had they not all been Poison Hemlock. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought me home flowers and candy for the first time in our one-year relationship. Thinking he was going to finally propose, I got excited. I asked why he was being so sweet, and he responded with, "I thought you'd take the breakup better this way." FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a bouquet of roses with a message attached. The message said, "Ever since your dog died you've stopped putting out, so I think we should break up." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
Flowers = I cheated on you Perfume = I crashed your car Clothes = I stole money from your purse Candy = I secretly hate your mother Diamond = I secretly ****** your mother
allmidnighteyes 11
"you are the defanition of "moron"" "defanition of "moron"" "defanition" Pot, meet kettle.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (99)
AmeenWhoElse 0
Give him the flowers back and tell him were even
autumnashea 0
haha love love it!
yuggi1 11
Thank him for being honest. Then, proceed to threatening him about cutting his dick off if he does it again.
capncrook 0
He put himself first by cheating and not caring about who he hurts Then put himself first again by hurting you by telling you by trying to relieve his guilt Dump the dip If you don't next week I change my vote to YDI
talb1 7
Dump him... Into a pool of toxic waste.
Mr_Darkside 5
geez... burn the damn flowers!!!
TonkaTruck21 0
he rogered up at least
deputy_g 5
It's called being ethical Cheating is cheating
deputy_g 5
Shouldve done what Kobe did and got her a diamond ring!!
perdix 31
Now you know when you get jewelry, it means he's been boning a dude!
aardvarkish 17
30, agreed. Sad but true.