Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML
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Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML
Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
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Top comments
xXToxicPenguinXx 12
could be worse.. could hit him every time he touches you
ComoEsJuan 24
"Why did you break up with your boyfriend?" "He tickled me" seems legit.
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Comments (109)
navychick2 10
That's how my boyfriend is!
dannyfml 1
You guys should try bondage, haha. If that idea turned you off, dump him, it's gonna happen one day...
TayLehman19 9
Haha I do the same exact thing when my boyfriend tries to tickle me!
thedude999 6
Damnit Pavlov!!!
DeathDonkey 0
My "friend" punches me so much that whenever anyone moves in the IT lab, if they are near me, I flinch.
FaultfulJoy 7
I'm the same way!! My fiancé thought holding me down to tickle me would make me immune. But NOPE, I now have a tickle complex :-/ I will involuntarily kick him when he tries.
supertacowaffle 41
This entire FML really creeped me out. Ew, people who obsessively tickle you are weird anyway, I'm shuddering typing this
katluvr 22
Tickling is considered a form of torture, regardless of the virtually uncontrollable laugh response it usually illicits.