Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML
Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML
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Top comments
feldco1 17
Unless she has tried to tell you what to work on, it's really her fault. Communication is key with this stuff.
MeLikeBigBoom 8
Well your username explains it quite a bit...
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Comments (89)
Satoaoi 13
practice makes perfect
mosquito19 14
so it's like throwing a hotdog down the hall?
katykoolcat 13
Oh god could be good, oh god, oh daddy, oh baby before ****** is really good. How about asking her what she likes to know more so you know your doing it right?
longtimesunshine 4
confidence is key, tell her exactly what you want when you want it how you want it! shake things up!
MikeyScene420 17
Maybe she was just really tired from the great sex! Think optimistically! (If nothing else maybe try different **** sites/categories if you've learned nothing)
onorexveritas 24
**** doesn't make you experienced in bed
ethereana 2
she yawned? damn. sorry that sucks
Raykyogrou03 12
Oh god as in "oh god, why?"
scott82 5
She is probably banging all your mates, probably right now
Alexis2742 31
"pornhastaughtmenothing" ? Lol that's awesome :)