Today, I ordered Chinese food. As I approached the restaurant to pick it up, I took out my keys and tried to unlock the front door. By the time I realized my mistake, everyone inside the restaurant had noticed and started laughing at me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I tried to unlock my house's front door by hitting the unlock button on my car keys. It took me some time to realize my mistake. FML
Today, I was in a rush to meet some friends for brunch, and I arrived first. The restaurant door was locked, so I knocked. A waiter opened the door and stared at me with confusion before saying, “This isn’t the entrance, ma’am.” It wasn’t until I walked around the corner and saw the correct door that I realized I had been standing at the employee entrance the entire time. FML
Today, I was exhausted after a long day at work and didn't feel like cooking so I went to a drive thru. I placed my order, went to the window and paid. I then drove off without my food and didn't realize it for a couple of blocks. I was too embarrassed to go back and get it. FML
Today, I ordered fries at a drive-thru, then drove away without paying. Realizing my mistake, I panicked and circled back, only to drive past the window again. The worker just stared at me as if I was pulling off the slowest robbery in history. FML
Today, I ordered enough takeout for 3 people. When the delivery guy smiled and asked, "Family dinner?" I panicked and said, "They're parking." Even though I know that the delivery guy doesn't really give a shit, I stood outside my apartment for 5 minutes pretending to wait for imaginary relatives before going back inside alone. FML
Today, I ordered DoorDash to my home. I sat outside waiting for it, starving, when my husband came out, laughing at me. The DoorDasher had called, I'd accidently sent it to my work. FML
Today, I needed to relax, so I ordered room service at my hotel. When I was finished, I went to put the tray outside, not thinking about needing a key to get back in. I locked myself out of my room, wearing smiley face underwear in a $250 a night hotel. I had to go to the lobby to get a new key. FML
Today, my friend asked me to order take out for him because he gets nervous on phones. I called a Chinese restaurant, only to get nervous, and hang up. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ElainaCutsYou 0
Sum Ting Wong?
gonad_gobbler 1
wow, everyone in the restaurant must adoor you now.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (112)
laurenmacias 0
It's like if the remote isn't working for the tv were all too lazy to just go up to it and change the channel
XtraEzeee 8
How at all is that even remotely similar?
zelda97 0
You should have acted like you own the place, picked up your order like a boss!
chels1994 11
I'm fairly sure you would have laughed too, had it happened to someone else (: no harm
DocBastard 40
You should have strode in there and loudly announced "STOP LAUGHING AT YOUR NEW BOSS, AND GET BACK TO WORK!" Then you walk out with your head held high and everyone staring in amazement. And then slink off stupidly to the next Chinese joint for your General Tso's chicken fix.
The_Hitdude 12
Waitor: But we just had a staff meeting with the new boss... OP: THAT'S NOT THE POINT DAMMIT!!! *throws chair, leaves restaurant and cries himself to sleep in car*
rubberduckie94 13
I work at a psych hospital where you need keys to open almost every door in the building. I am forever getting my keys out to open doors when I am off the job. At least you made everybody laugh.
youngFOUREVER 3
Things like this happen, no worries. (:
Honestly_Lainey 21
Dont worry OP, it could have been worse. One time, I went for Chinese food with my friend and when we were ordering she asked the waiter, "Do you have chicken balls?" I've never seen some many people in a restaurant laugh at one person. Your wee mistake will be forgotten in no time :)
pinkglitz 2
Luckily it wasn't a Facebook incident.
ankoku 2
Return an angry look and visably turn your keys the other way
twotenfresh 3
U must have been high lol
valdezadair 0
You, mah friend, have a slight resemblance to that black guy off The Matrix....I forget his name.