Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that having the apartment bathroom next to my bedroom space isn't so great and convenient when it's occupied by my evil roommate, Fartzilla. I hear every constipated grunt, despite having music turned up. Worse, it's like living next to a poop-pourri factory. Nose bleach, anyone? FML
Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML
Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML
Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't hear it. I know this because I frequently hear theirs. FML
Today, I can now identify which of my four roommates is using the washroom, based on their grunts. I just love having a bedroom beside the bathroom. FML
Today, the landlord of our building constructed a bathroom in the space under the stairs, outside my office, on the other side of a thin wall. He must have some kind of bowel disorder, because now I get to hear the sounds of his loud, wet and gassy pooping several times per day. FML
Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML
Today, as any other work day, I sat down for lunch. Unfortunately, the door to the toilet is right next to where I sit. Every time a colleague uses the toilet, I hear everything, which puts me off my lunch. FML
Today, I realised I can tell which family member has just left the bathroom from the smell alone. FML
Today, sick of the unfiltered noise we hear from our neighbours in our upstairs apartment, as we're above their fence line, we signed the lease on an apartment downstairs. While I was downstairs, my partner clomped upstairs, opened the bathroom door, and took a piss. I heard EVERYTHING. FML
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Top comments
krysxkatastrophe 14
Smirk at him back! If he can hear you, you can hear him.
Waffcakes 0
you could always be like shut up! I know what you do in your bedroom... and walk away chuckling lol but thats creepy..
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Comments (56)
ppriscilla 0
awkwarddd
emodude44 0
Why was he listening?!?!?!
77taylah33 0
how did you find that out?..
RedPillSucks 33
I was thinking the same thing. Was she over at his place about to do the nasty, and had to use the bathroom? Inquiring minds want to know.
sieana 0
sounds like you need more fiber in your diet..ydi..
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
So
Gamer_Bum 1
U should ask to use his bathroom lol
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
Paint
motero 0
next time pretend ur banging some girl so he can think u do everything in that bathroom. that's where all da noises come from
Crews17 0
hahaha
FFPianoDude 2
Then can't you hear his?