that really sucks. maybe u should have made sure he was the one tho? or at least gona last a bit

No, not just made sure he was "the One". They should be MARRIED, or, at the very least, engaged!

Man, OP, you totally deserved that one! It's common sense.

WTF you can move in together without getting "married" to make sure. If they got married then it's very possible that they will end up getting divorced. Duh.

Yeah, but if you get a divorce, the whole financial thing can be legally settled. If you're just dating, someone usually ends up screwed

He's a dick, but that was a dumb ass move on your part OP. Even though marriage seems to have lost it's "Forever" meaning, at least you would have been entitled to half of his earnings in a divorce since you're in Cali. At least you know for next time: NEVER BUY A HOUSE with someone you're just DATING. Get an apartment, RENT a house, but never, ever BUY one unless you two are married.

LOL at you. My aunt and uncle aren't married, but they've been together for years and have a house together. Just because one person gets screwed over doesn't mean ~omg everyone should get married before buying a house~

Yeah, married couples split up, that's definitely true. But when you split with a spouse, you have waaaay more legal rights when you split with someone who is just a boyfriend or girlfriend. That is part of the reason why gays want to marry, they want those type of rights. Buying a house without being married is just plain dumb. Next time, get a ring on that finger first! And in the meanwhile, get a roommate. I am sure there are a lot of people you can rent a room to who can help pay those bills! It's probably for the best since the boyfriend doesn't seem like he was a great catch to begin with!!!

Your aunt and uncle are the exception, dumbass. There is no reason to ever BUY property with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Renting? It's risky, but go for it.

Also, studies say that couples are more likely to break up/get divorced if they live together before getting married. Just throwing that out there.

#60, just because your aunt and uncle aren't married and own a house doesn't mean it works that way for everyone. If they broke up right now, one of them would be screwed unless they still agreed to split their assets. Frankly, I don't see that happening.

no, i don't think that you need to be married or sure that he is 'the one' to go and buy a house, but at least be sure that he won't pull some shit like that.


(also, if the mortgage is in BOTH your names, it isn't valid without BOTH your signatures. null and void.

(have fun apartment hunting)

yes it was an unexpected dick move,
but a totally forseeable and avoidable one
thisones 70% YDI, 30% FYL

what an asshole!!!

Try being constructive.

Most states allow you to cancel a contract within 3 days of signing. Might want to look into that.

yes, it could end in divorce if they were married, but it would be wise to wait until you've made a real relationship commitment before making a real financial commitment.

sue

YDI for buying a house with just a BF. I mean really. How dumb can you be?

He's still an ass, but you're retarded for thinking that buying a HOUSE with someone you weren't committed too was a good idea.

Oh my God! That's so fucking tactless of him! FYL. That guy's a douche, you're better off without him. Maybe you can find a nice roommate?

Never take a mortgage you can't afford on your own. That's just asking for problems. What if you guys did stay together and one of you lost their job?

I agree. Always be financially independent. You never know what could happen, especially in this economy.

Wow what a fucking prick! I can't believe that shit! I am sorry.

That ass. FYL fer sur but I gotta agree with #3.
It might have worked out badly anyways.

u don't buy a house without a ring on ur finger. what were u thinking!

oh yeah, cause THAT'S a guarantee they're going to stay together...

well, it's more of a guarantee than someone you're just dating. what do you think, never buy a house ever?

It's not a guarantee they'll stay together, but it's a guarantee he's still responsible for half of the debt if he bails on the marriage.

But what about gay couples? What are they supposed to do, never buy houses? I know! Let's change the law so they can marry!

Who needs gay couples.

Monogamous gay people need gay couples

Apocalyptus: What kind of backwards country do you live in that doesn't allow you to marry someone your own sex? That sounds almost too ridiculous to be true.

That's too bad for them. I'm just going to state homosexuality, transexuality, asexuality and the likes isn't natural and hence I don't support it.

Have a nice day.

Yes it does, Prawn. Yes it does.
p.s. Tyson - homosexuality is natural, it has been observed in almost every animal species.

Too bad for those animal species. Maybe they like male buttsex.

Ask the giraffe.

agreed, 19. i'm all for gay marriage. a couple that wants to marry and legally can't is another story.

i higly doubt that she was "just dating" him. Maybe they're against the concept of marriage? who knows. i'm just saying that marriage is definately not a guarantee that 2 people will stay together forever, so why wait until you get married?

because if you're married and get divorced he'll still be held responsible for half the debt.

If his name is on the mortgage, then he would still be responsible if he bailed.

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Yeah, the concept of marriage has been cheapened enough by heterosexuals who cheat, abuse their spouses, marry for green cards, marry for money, marry for convenience, divorce at the first rough patch, marry too young before they really know what they're doing, or just marry for the hell of it (like Britney Spears). Straight people take marriage for granted which is why it's such a mess these days. The concept of marriage has been cheapened into the ground for hundreds of years; it's only when gay couples wanted the right to marry that straights actually began to value the institution of marriage after crapping on it for centuries.

How do you think gay people 'cheapen' marriage? Homosexuality has been around for thousands of years, even if it hasn't been out in the opn. It's just more recently that they feel comfortable 'coming out to the community(pun not necessiarly intended), and want equality, which includes the right to "marry".

You know, I bet if you were around in the 1800-1900's you would be one of those people against giving women equal rights because "it's not supposed to be that way" and "they've always stayed at home and cooked and cleaned, why do they need to vote?"

Because that's the exact kind of lame excuses you are giving.

I agree with #52.

I don't see why we straight people should be the only ones who suffer under the soul-crushing jackboot of the repressive institution of marriage. Let the gays have access to that "privilege," too!

If gays could marry, they wouldn't be gay* anymore!

* in the old context meaning "happy."

i was just thinking that same thing! the comments always take attention away from the op's post!

Actually, that's not technically true. If one party states that they will be financially responsible for the mortgage, then the other party is absolved of responsibility. It's part of the "Marriage Settlement Agreement" that divorcing couples have to agree to in many states.

Weeeeelllll.... kind of.

...cause buying a house with a materialistic object like a RING means he won't ever do anything like that.
What a stupid comment to this post. Just sayin.

I completely agree.

Wow... Marriage is about two people loving each other enough to want to commit their lives to each other for the rest of their lives. Grow up and accept gays. They're here and always will be. Deal with it

That really sucks. Didn't the realtor let you destroy the contract? I mean you'd JUST signed it.

And for the people saying she shouldn't move in with someone just because they're not married or she didn't know him well enough, she could have been with him for 10 years for all you know.

That seems highly unlikely he just ended a 10 year relationship with a quick text message... And she just accepted it.

Not really, some people are just cowards. My buddy's girl broke up with him by moving out of their place one day while he was at work. They'd been together 7 years at that point.

I have to agree with #3 but still. What a douche.

Is the contract valid with only your signature? If the financing is based on both your incomes I'd expect the contract would need to be signed by both. Either way, FYL.

I was thinking the same thing

Same.

I was thinking something completely different

nothing against living together before marriage but you probably shouldn't BUY a house with someone if you're not married...that's way too huge of a commitment for someone you're just dating. if they can't commit to spending the rest of their life with you, you should think twice before commiting to 30 years of a mortgage with them. renting, you'd only be responsible for maximum a year if things go awry, and most landlords can be negotiated with, whereas the bank will probably just tell you to go fuck yourself and take the house.

that said, he's still a total fucking asshole for doing that to you. isn't there any way to get out of it? maybe try talking to the sellers or something, i don't know.

Agreed! Dating is too risky to consider getting a house...