By housepoor - 07/07/2009 04:48 - United States
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that really sucks. maybe u should have made sure he was the one tho? or at least gona last a bit
He's a dick, but that was a dumb ass move on your part OP. Even though marriage seems to have lost it's "Forever" meaning, at least you would have been entitled to half of his earnings in a divorce since you're in Cali. At least you know for next time: NEVER BUY A HOUSE with someone you're just DATING. Get an apartment, RENT a house, but never, ever BUY one unless you two are married.
Yeah, married couples split up, that's definitely true. But when you split with a spouse, you have waaaay more legal rights when you split with someone who is just a boyfriend or girlfriend. That is part of the reason why gays want to marry, they want those type of rights. Buying a house without being married is just plain dumb. Next time, get a ring on that finger first! And in the meanwhile, get a roommate. I am sure there are a lot of people you can rent a room to who can help pay those bills! It's probably for the best since the boyfriend doesn't seem like he was a great catch to begin with!!!
Your aunt and uncle are the exception, dumbass. There is no reason to ever BUY property with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Renting? It's risky, but go for it. Also, studies say that couples are more likely to break up/get divorced if they live together before getting married. Just throwing that out there.
no, i don't think that you need to be married or sure that he is 'the one' to go and buy a house, but at least be sure that he won't pull some shit like that. (also, if the mortgage is in BOTH your names, it isn't valid without BOTH your signatures. null and void. (have fun apartment hunting)
Never take a mortgage you can't afford on your own. That's just asking for problems. What if you guys did stay together and one of you lost their job?
Yeah, the concept of marriage has been cheapened enough by heterosexuals who cheat, abuse their spouses, marry for green cards, marry for money, marry for convenience, divorce at the first rough patch, marry too young before they really know what they're doing, or just marry for the hell of it (like Britney Spears). Straight people take marriage for granted which is why it's such a mess these days. The concept of marriage has been cheapened into the ground for hundreds of years; it's only when gay couples wanted the right to marry that straights actually began to value the institution of marriage after crapping on it for centuries.
How do you think gay people 'cheapen' marriage? Homosexuality has been around for thousands of years, even if it hasn't been out in the opn. It's just more recently that they feel comfortable 'coming out to the community(pun not necessiarly intended), and want equality, which includes the right to "marry". You know, I bet if you were around in the 1800-1900's you would be one of those people against giving women equal rights because "it's not supposed to be that way" and "they've always stayed at home and cooked and cleaned, why do they need to vote?" Because that's the exact kind of lame excuses you are giving.
I agree with #52. I don't see why we straight people should be the only ones who suffer under the soul-crushing jackboot of the repressive institution of marriage. Let the gays have access to that "privilege," too! If gays could marry, they wouldn't be gay* anymore! * in the old context meaning "happy."
Actually, that's not technically true. If one party states that they will be financially responsible for the mortgage, then the other party is absolved of responsibility. It's part of the "Marriage Settlement Agreement" that divorcing couples have to agree to in many states.
That really sucks. Didn't the realtor let you destroy the contract? I mean you'd JUST signed it. And for the people saying she shouldn't move in with someone just because they're not married or she didn't know him well enough, she could have been with him for 10 years for all you know.
Is the contract valid with only your signature? If the financing is based on both your incomes I'd expect the contract would need to be signed by both. Either way, FYL.
nothing against living together before marriage but you probably shouldn't BUY a house with someone if you're not married...that's way too huge of a commitment for someone you're just dating. if they can't commit to spending the rest of their life with you, you should think twice before commiting to 30 years of a mortgage with them. renting, you'd only be responsible for maximum a year if things go awry, and most landlords can be negotiated with, whereas the bank will probably just tell you to go fuck yourself and take the house. that said, he's still a total fucking asshole for doing that to you. isn't there any way to get out of it? maybe try talking to the sellers or something, i don't know.