Today, I'm cheering myself up about being newly single by having a sleepover with my best friends. Their boyfriends have all decided to sleep over as well though, so I'm currently alone in a corridor with nothing but the sound of all my friends having loud sex to keep me company. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
Today, after watching my roommate and her boyfriend be all lovey dovey for months, I now have to watch two of our other friends flirting as well. I'm painfully single and have been struggling to change that for years. FML
Today, I'm spending the night with the guy I've been interested in for a while. Instead of sleeping in the same bed together, he insists that I sleep in another room because he "doesn't want to be tempted to do anything." So, I'm alone, in my best lingerie, in his little brother's room. FML
Today, after breaking up with my boyfriend, some of my friends decided to take me to a comedy club for a girls night. My friend's jealous husband decided he had to come along, then decided to invite my other friends' boyfriends. I ended up being the seventh wheel on a night meant to cheer me up. FML
Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I couldn't trust her after cheating on me with 3 guys. Our friends are sad about it so they're throwing her a pity party. Now I'm single and I have no friends. FML
Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML
Today, it's Saturday. While all my friends go out to have fun, I get my excitement thinking about how I'll be sleeping with a new pillow. FML
Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML
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Top comments
jessicaazzzzzzzz 3
Have loud sex with yourself to get back at them. Let's make this awkward.
NoisyNykkii 10
Start playing Justin Beiber to get the boys turned off?
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Comments (244)
ideekayys 4
They're pretty insensitive.
Aletheria_fml 9
I think sex is good and I'm all about liberation. But quite frankly, I think I would dump those friends if I were in such a situation. I mean, okay, I won't be jealous of a friend who's in a relationship if I'm not in one (and if I am, I won't say a word!) . But darn it I will be MAD if I invite people over for comfort and they a) invite people over without my consent and b) have loud sex while I sit here puzzled as to what's happening around me. Nuh huh. In fact, maybe I'd gather them and tell them how hurt I feel about it and dump them depending on their reaction.
kphippie 0
Sounds like you've got some great friends... Not
mister_jedi55 0
A similar thing happened to me last week, I ended up losing 4 friends that night. All I can tell you is that people don't change, just their opinions.
mister_jedi55 0
OOH! Good idea, next time it happens stand outside the door and yell "C'MON , I DID WAT BETTER THAN THAT!" Or you could play the nom nom nom song, that makes the soldier sleep every time! :-)
Mypjsareblue 4
Lol that's funny as hell
kenta_fml 0
Kick them out
charmanderCHAR 5
You seriously didn't tell these bitches to leave their men at the door? Grow a ******* pair and tell them to leave.
LavenderLunacy14 7
Hmm... New friends?
slimwhoisdirtay 1
sorry to say, but your friends are bitches.......and *****