Today, I'm a 25-year-old married woman and I'm currently living with my grandfather to take care of him. Today, he grounded me. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I went downstairs to get a drink and overheard my grandparents talking about me. They spent a good 15 minutes double-team attacking me for my failings as a human being, mainly me not being married with children yet. I'm barely 20. FML
Today, the day after my grandfather's funeral, my grandmother informed me I have 30 days to move out. I've been living with them for four years, helping take care of my sick grandfather. She's already changed the locks and won't unlock the door. FML
Today, my step-mom tried to ground me. I met her just yesterday, when she moved in. FML
Today, my mom lost an argument and tried to ground me. I’m 43 years-old and own my own house, so yes, she actually tried to tell me to stay grounded in my own house. FML
Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML
Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML
Today, I got grounded because I didn't send my aunt a Mother's Day present. Not only is she not married she doesn't have kids. FML
Today, no one warned me that my grandfather was slipping into dementia. I proudly brought my new baby to meet him, only for him to burst into hysterical tears that I was a teenage whore, who’s now brought shame to the family. I'm 30 and married, but he still tried to hit me with his cane. FML
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Top comments
LilaBear 2
haha. Ignore him. I would. I love my grandfather but if I was living with him to take care of him, there's no way I'd pay attention to him if he tried to ground me :P I'd be like "do you want me to move out? No? I didn't think so."
tokyohenjin 5
So whadja do?
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Comments (162)
apfunction 0
If you're a 25 year old married woman today, I can't imagine what you will be tomorrow! I know...I'm lame.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
♪ For God's sake, you must be as old as the sun. Your social security number is one. Your deaf, dumb, and blind, and an amputee. You donate your blood every time that you pee. Your arthritis acts up whenever it rains. You're so old, your penis has varicose veins. Oh why don't you die, Grandpa, why must you fight? You old mother-f***er! Just walk towards the God-damn light!! ♪
xundria 5
lmfao!
CallMeHush 1
BSR is that the Soylent Green or Obama Care theme song?
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Unfortunately, neither, CMH. Obama could learn a few things from Stephen Lynch, though...
exohexoh 0
No offense, but that's sooo funny!
kamkak 0
why is this fml? you dont have to listen to him...
turdburgers 0
Does he realize you're a grown woman? Send him to bed for being cranky.
twistedavalon06 0
you're sad. grow the **** up. no one can "ground" you. loser. I say fake fml
kel_pie 1
just swap some of his meds with x then he will be doing ok....
saywaturcoco 0
69?
saywaturcoco 0
noo damm I'm 70... it's just 1 off soo I'm close enough...anywayss OP ur wording sucked.... u should have wrote.... Today, I was grounded. By who? My grandfather. I'm a 25 year old married woman and currently live with him to take care off him... see like that u don't have the word today twice....
bluefairy_fml 24
Why is this a FML? To me it sounds like a funny event. Anyway, kudos to you for taking care of your grandfather, instead of tossing him away to an asylum like most people do...
bezach 0
are you 37 tommorow?