Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after a 3-month dry spell because I am recovering after having a baby, I was finally in the mood to get intimate with my husband. Foreplay was great, the sex was great until my back gave out right as I was about to cum. I can't move without intense pain. I just wanted to orgasm! FML
Today, I hurt my back, and now I have to lie on my stomach for twenty minutes every hour so I can ice the pain. My boyfriend won't stop using my ass as bongo drums every time. FML
Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML
Today, I'm 8 months pregnant and I went to pee at 2 a.m., with the light off to avoid waking my husband. The wanker had left the seat up, so I fell right into the bowl and got stuck with my cheeks in the water because my belly wouldn’t let me get up. My useless sleeping husband couldn’t hear me yell for help. FML
Today, I’m nine months pregnant and divorcing my husband. He’s been cheating for the past six months and blamed it on me for “lack of intimacy.” I’ve been hospitalized three times for this pregnancy thus far, so I'm sorry I’ve been sick growing a whole ass human! FML
Today, the soon-to-be father of my baby told me he thinks I'm an extremely selfish person, and that I don't love him. His reasoning? I haven't given him a back rub in two weeks, sleep too much, and have a hormonal problem. Once again: I AM PREGNANT! FML
Today, I finished a full marathon and just wanted to relax and get pampered by my husband afterwards. Instead, I spent the evening taking care of him and his back because he had a spasm. Don't worry, he feels much better now. Meanwhile, I can’t move my legs. FML
Today, I am 10 weeks pregnant and my husband says he needs time for himself. This apparently means he will be romancing and sleeping with other women so he can "relax". FML
Today, I'm 3 days post-partum and my husband accidentally jabbed into my side while flopping onto the couch. FML
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Top comments
jem970 19
He should be a good husband and take care of you.
tacojauns 45
Well on the plus side when your kid grows up and ask what that is (vibrator) you can honestly say a back massager
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Comments (110)
ljd 2
Don't have anymore children cuz it only gets worse
stillnotaredhead 10
My hubby never did anything for me either. He would just say to stop complaining because I was the one that wanted to be pregnant so I have no right to complain about it.
HowieDoIt 21
Really? Commenting the same thing twice, but once as a thread jack?
MissMess 12
Yeah, I never got any of that lovey dovey you're carrying my child so I'll do anything for you shit either. No back rubs, no long baths, no Chinese food at three am. Tv lied to me about pregnancy!
kingoirish 4
should have used the vibrator instead of getting knocked up by an asshole
jiraii 9
if your husband keeps that up, that won't be the only thing you will be using the vibrator for
sweetbabysweet93 10
Awh :( I remember the pregnancy back pain. Once you meet your baby it's all worth it
adam_night 9
That's ingenuity, way to go Ms Mcgyver
blackvyper 8
You should have thought about that 8 months ago.
akiahara 14
I hope he mans up for you and his child.
metmimo 8
Sounds like the majority of guys, including my own. Irresponsible to the extreme. Good luck with your babies, big and small
toaster012 17
Desperate times comes from desperate measures...