Andrew
Blackwood, United States
Today, I heard my ten-year-old brother say, "Are hamburgers a reptile?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Yikes
Carny
Today, my 4 year-old son learned that burgers and chicken tenders are made from cows and chickens. I braced myself for the tantrum, only to hear, "They're yummy. Can we turn the cat into a burger? What do squirrels and dogs turn into?" Now I'm scared of my kid. FML
sydcaller618
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Richmond, United States
Let him have his innocence
Today, my six-year-old son told me how it was funny that there's "a food chicken and an animal chicken". That's going to be a fun one to explain to him. FML
Anonymous
United States
Little twit
Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML
EatYourGreens
Augustine Heights, Australia
Sorry dude
Today, my four year-old very loudly asked me if the little person she saw at the shops was like that because he didn't eat his vegetables. He definitely heard. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Leave me alone
Today, my brother turned into a fanatical vegan, and while I was eating my scrambled eggs, sat across from me glaring and whispering, "fried embryo, amniotic fluid" the entire time. I have a feeling i'll be eating most of my meals in my room from now on. FML
Anonymous
United States
Egg IRL
Today, I was eating out with my family. I have 2 brothers. Our waitress comes and says, "Look at those 3 handsome young men." I didn't think of it until my 5-year-old brother shouted, " She's a girl!'" FML
NVP
United States
Thanks for the input
Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML
fack
San Francisco, United States
Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML
njh
Ireland
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
vballqt201
United States
Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML
Top comments
sleepyfires 20
Of course not! They're mammals, you silly child.
gracehi 33
Ah yes, the wild hamburger: known for devouring mice whole and sunbathing.
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Comments (79)
BlueScales 15
This kid's done his homework! Give him a round of applause!
monstababe92 6
no patrick. hamburger is not reptile
mld4657 28
I feel like okay he's 10 and probably just got a bit confused with something at school or just never paid attetion at all but I never met him so in going with he just got a bit confused given his age.
Colon_Man 17
Hamburgers aren't reptiles, but reptiles can be burgers.
Vlen_fml 20
exactly what i was thinking, my mom had an ex who would make just about anything out of Snake. not sure i'd want to try ground-snake burgers though.
MomentoMori 23
Is mayonnaise an instrument?
TheInferno15 7
Kill it
LostInTheZone11 29
The stealth hamburger poised and ready waits for a cheese fly to wander close by.
TStiles 15
Ask him if mayonnaise is an instrument
jacjax 10
is mayonnaise an instrument?
TrickyDill 5
Is mayonnaise an instrument?