sleepyfires

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Sleepyfires's FML badges

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Sleepyfires's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 18/11/2015 02:13 - United States - Herndon

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." FML

agreeclassic 30 033

vote type 1 9 505

You OK, hun?

By Porche - 12/11/2015 16:24 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend called me at work and said, "I hate to do this over the phone..." I burst into tears, thinking he was going to break up with me. Turns out he only ate my last doughnut. Now my co-workers think I'm a weirdo. FML

agreeclassic 24 603

vote type 1 4 677

By caroline - 29/10/2015 20:02 - Germany

Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML

agreeclassic 29 356

vote type 1 2 943

By Natasha - 29/10/2015 08:58 - United States - Seattle

Today, I got so desperate for cash that I decided to start selling my used panties online. FML

agreeclassic 25 805

vote type 1 7 289

By idontmakethedresscode - 23/10/2015 08:17 - United States - Napa

Today, my classmate went into rage mode and cursed at me, complaining how it's so unfair that I'm allowed to wear a hijab in class but she isn't allowed to wear a Flamingo hat. FML

agreeclassic 27 996

vote type 1 6 444