Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I slipped and sprained my ankle while shopping for a present for my husband, who later came home and tripped over my elevated leg, hurting my ankle again. Now I have an excruciating sprain, and a spouse who's furious at me because, I "shouldn't have tried to surprise him." FML
Today, after slipping on my stairs and spraining my ankle, I got a brace and crutches at urgent care. When I went to get into my car, my crutch slipped on some paper and I fell. I crawled back into urgent care, only to learn that my sprained ankle is now broken in 2 places. FML
Today, I’m on vacation with my fiancé and his kids. We came to see a wedding venue. Too bad I severely sprained my ankle. I also sprained that same ankle when he proposed. FML
Today, after my at-the-time partner got in a car wreck with minimal injuries, I drove two hours and got a week off classes to take care of them on hand and foot, they are currently my platonic roommate and I nearly broke my foot… and they keep acting annoyed when I ask for something because I can't walk. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by offering me a foot massage to ease my sore feet after a run. I asked for a lot of pressure. Now I'm back home in a walking boot after being diagnosed with a fractured fifth metatarsal bone. FML
Today, I had to choose between being in excruciating pain and having a happy significant other by doing housework, or resting my sprained ankle and having my significant other pissed off at me because she thinks I’m milking it. She went to bed two hours ago and I can barely move it. Guess which I chose. FML
Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment is for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket, because walking is "too painful." FML
Today, three days into my vacation, I ended up spraining not one, but BOTH of my ankles. Now my entire vacation will be spent healing. FML
Today, my wife yelled at me for not helping her rearrange the furniture. I have a sprained shoulder and have been ordered by my doctor to avoid heavy lifting. She said, "Move the couch or sleep on it." FML
Today, I tried to impress my wife by doing a bunch of push-ups, despite having a bad shoulder. She told me my form sucks and that I'm an idiot. Now I can barely move my arm and I'm going to have to get it fixed. FML
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Top comments
emeraldisle 30
It may seem mean to you but maybe he's trying to make you laugh and feel better. I know it would work on me.
olpally 33
Awww, that's cute. Give him credit for having a sense of humor about your injury/condition and trying to cheer you up. he's a funny one. Lol :)
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Comments (79)
isamisis 9
I bet you can get him to do a lot for you in your condition. After all, you are the master.
OfficeNinja 5
I call my wife's stiff walk when she is having arthritis the "zombie shuffle". Now she calls it the zombie shuffle too.
Sputnikspak 13
I can't let my partner see this. I have Lupus, and have some really arthritic days. I do not want to be told I have a 'zombie shuffle'. ...Because I'm fine with 'It's a werewolf day' instead.
maz95 17
He seems like a pretty cool and funny fiancé to me :)
Sputnikspak 13
I'm quite certain that's exactly what the OP's fiancé is referencing...
russfml 31
Fyl but that is hilarious!! Once this has passed I'm sure the two of you will laugh at it.
slimjim8094 12
What hump?
voncrane 23
I can relate to that and know exactly how you feel OP.. Once had a case of nasty abscess under both armpits for over a year.. Terrible discomfort all day long..
howdeedoo 22
He's just being funny. Go along with it
BrotherTheo 31
You Have The Power OP. Use It. Don't forget to Whip him soundly!
barefootchic 6
It's half and half. It stinks that you're in so much pain, but congrats on having a fiancé with a sense of humor!