Miscellaneous: Today, I had to hand write a 10 page essay for one of my classes.... - FML

By stupid - 24/09/2009 01:18 - United States

Today, I had to hand write a 10 page essay for one of my classes. When I turned it in I got an automatic zero. It was written in blue. Not black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 769

You deserved it 13 020

Our house, in the middle of our street

You tried

Open season

Nice boxers

By Harmonia - 26/01/2009 10:09 - France

Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I went. I returned with another pair for him to try on, found him bent over and blurted out, "What's with the terrible underwear?" I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 801

You deserved it 9 433

By sunkissedberries - 15/07/2010 04:12 - United States

Today, I ran into my boyfriend. The same guy that told me he was still in Florida with his family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 585

You deserved it 3 857

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 17:26 - Canada - Uxbridge

Today, I'm insanely hungover from a long night of drinking. I'm going to my nephew's baptism in an hour as his godmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 183

You deserved it 55 201

By knevs - 22/06/2011 20:05 - United States

Today, my mom sold our electronic stuff to pay for hurricane shutters. We live in Chicago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 676

You deserved it 2 960

Car Wars

By no car - 04/08/2020 17:04

Today, I came outside to leave for work. To my shock and horror my car was gone. My asshole neighbor, who has parked in my spot multiple times decided to let her noisy guests park in my parking spot, so I parked in hers. She had my car towed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 939

You deserved it 361

Thievery

By Anonymous - 18/04/2013 04:00 - United States - New York

Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 228

You deserved it 4 058

By julie24 - 30/05/2014 02:30 - France

Today, I was partying with friends. At around midnight, I sent a text message to my friend to reassure her, saying that of course I could handle my drink. That's the last thing I can remember about the evening. It's a total blank from that point onwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 172

You deserved it 45 998

Downhill from here

By Anonymous - 21/04/2021 15:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Spicy

Today, I'm in a relationship in which the sex was great and constant at the beginning. Now it’s so quick, bad and inconsistent, it’s like going at it with a virgin who doesn’t even know how the clit works. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 170

By Sophie - 07/06/2012 07:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time. It's a small, old cottage in the countryside. I went up for a shower and didn't realise that the plug hole was blocked. Before I knew it, the bathroom floor was completely flooded and the ceiling below was dripping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 995

You deserved it 7 674

Stay at home

By allidoiswrkwrkwrknomttrwht - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out my request to have off on Thanksgiving for the first time in 6 years was denied, because I work the evening shift every year on Thanksgiving and that's convenient for everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 621

You deserved it 802

By aelia_oups - 31/12/2012 22:09 - France - Taverny

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 254

You deserved it 7 518

By Anonymous - 07/10/2017 01:30

Today, while pulling out of my work parking lot, I had a piping hot coffee tossed at me through my passenger window. I don't know if I was more amazed by this guy's exquisite aim or the fact that his coffee was so sweet I tasted the diabetes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 951

You deserved it 222

By Anonymous - 05/04/2013 11:23 - Australia - Mackay

Today, I regretfully confessed to my parents I have trichotillomania. There was a torturous pause, followed by the question, "Are you gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 862

You deserved it 5 064

Plans

By bitchface - 09/01/2010 04:08 - United States

Today, I looked at my father's Facebook for the first time in a month to see a status saying, "Making wedding plans!" Really? When was he planning on telling his own daughter? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 820

You deserved it 3 043

Happy Mother's Day

By ImScrewed - 10/05/2021 05:01 - United States

Today, I had my husband’s family over. Our adopted 4 year-old daughter drew a cute card and gave it to me saying, "Happy Mother’s Day mommy! I love you." My mother-in-law scoffed, "She’s infertile and not even your real mom, but ok." Now our daughter won’t stop asking all sorts of questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 816

You deserved it 55

By slut - 02/07/2010 01:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend's mother screamed at me for half an hour, calling me a slut because she found a black lacy thong in my boyfriend's bed. I didn't have the heart to tell her it wasn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 474

You deserved it 8 633

By hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 531

You deserved it 359

By Anonymous - 18/11/2015 02:13 - United States - Herndon

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 902

You deserved it 9 374

By elizabeth - 29/11/2012 08:01 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I came home to my mother-in-law wearing the gold chain which I usually keep in a hidden drawer. I searched my drawer only to find out my chain was missing. I asked my mother-in-law if she took it and she keeps denying the fact that she stole it from me. My husband is on her side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 471

You deserved it 1 829

By Brandon - 09/05/2016 02:56 - United States - Springfield

Today, my wife cancelled on our date we had planned for over a month. It would have been our first one-on-one date since the birth of our first child. Our child is over 13 months old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 332

You deserved it 1 262

By Anonymous - 08/10/2011 16:00 - United States

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonald's, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 810

You deserved it 7 956

Narcissus

By Anonymous - 13/09/2021 17:00

Today, my friend isn't speaking to me since I came out to her. Not because she's a homophobe, but because she's mortally offended that I didn't confess my love in the process. Seems that everyone who's attracted to women should be attracted to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 87

By Eric Forrest - 24/02/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, while at a work meeting, I finally summoned up the courage to share and express my opinions about unprofessionalism in the office. After the meeting, I went to clean up, only to notice in the bathroom mirror that I'd had a booger pasted across my forehead throughout the meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 105

You deserved it 23 915

By Anonymous - 28/04/2011 19:42 - United States

Today, while my teacher was helping me with a problem, the gum he was chewing fell from his mouth and down my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 864

You deserved it 4 739

By Anonymous - 20/10/2018 22:00

Spicy

Today, I was feeling a bit randy, so when my boyfriend got home, I jumped on him and gave him a proper deep-tongue kiss. I noticed he tasted a bit weird, so I asked him when he last brushed his teeth. His answer: the day we had dinner with his mother. That was 2 weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 626

You deserved it 508

By greasyhair - 07/09/2009 20:25 - United States

Today, I finally figured out why my 5 year old daughter washes her hair everyday. It's because she doesn't want to have "yucky greasy" hair like her mommy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 914

You deserved it 47 282

By Anonymous - 10/08/2013 21:30 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my mother-in-law yelled from across the house for me to come quickly. She sounded frantic, so I rushed and asked what was wrong. She said, "Nothing." and that she just wanted to remind me that she hates my guts. She'll be living here with me and my wife for the next two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 433

You deserved it 3 804

By Relevance - 13/08/2010 04:03 - United States

Today, my husband fell for an online scam leaving us 1450.00 in the negative. We get paid tomorrow and most of our money is going to cover that debt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 039

You deserved it 7 782

By nthor - 11/03/2009 18:05 - United States

Today, a man on the train asked me if i had any change. I quickly responded with "no habla engles". He then tapped me on the shoulder and said "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 656

You deserved it 140 981

The date from hell #5676

By DennisQuaide69 - 27/06/2017 00:00

Today, I went on an a date with a guy I met online. We were waiting in line at Starbucks when he turned to me and said, "Do you want anything?" Just before I was about to answer, he practically shoved in front of me and paid for himself. The cashier looked more horrified than I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 286

You deserved it 477

Sad sad sad

By Anonymous - 09/09/2015 00:03

Today, I caught two kids passing notes to each other in my class, so I told them to see me afterwards. When one of the kids eventually came up, I noticed he was crying. He looked up at me and sobbed out, "I was trying to make my first friend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 528

You deserved it 7 705

By Username - 03/08/2011 14:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got an anonymous letter, stating my condo's community and all my neighbors can hear me having sex. Not only that, but kids gather around my window to listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 639

You deserved it 37 426

By Absent - 12/01/2010 05:42 - France

Today, my friends let me win at strip poker so I wouldn't take off my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 280

You deserved it 6 502

By wtfbabe - 22/06/2018 05:00

Today, my husband's dick went in the wrong hole. And by the wrong hole, I mean another man’s anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 612

You deserved it 538

By freakingout - 04/09/2012 21:55 - United States - Roslyn

Today, it was my first day back at school. My social anxiety is so bad that I couldn't even raise my hand to use the bathroom because I didn't want people to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 937

You deserved it 4 602

By freshman - 25/03/2011 23:05 - Canada

Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 145

You deserved it 60 027

By Anonymous - 04/07/2015 06:25 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I got hit in the face by a ping-pong ball. It hit me so hard, it burst a big zit on impact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 901

You deserved it 3 225

By Anonymous - 19/10/2018 06:00 - United States

Today, my wife went into the bathroom at Walmart. Being almost sure there was no one else in there, I stood around the corner to scare her. As the door opened, I jumped around the corner and scared an innocent woman to so badly she peed herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 219

You deserved it 3 419

By Vlad - 24/12/2018 14:00

Today, we found out that the drinks we've had for our Christmas party at work yesterday were expired. For anything between six and eleven months. All of us drank them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 965

You deserved it 367

By epicsquishii - 01/05/2012 11:02 - United States - Riverbank

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 849

You deserved it 3 440

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Thursday 24 September 2009 9:32

It didn't list such an important requirement somewhere?

allmidnighteyes 10

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Thursday 24 September 2009 9:32

Once you go black, you never go ba- waaaiiit a minute ಠ_ಠ

Comments

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Thursday 24 September 2009 9:32

It didn't list such an important requirement somewhere?

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Friday 25 September 2009 1:18

Lets be honest, your teacher probably stressed that part multiple times if she was gonna auto-zero something that little.

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Friday 25 September 2009 3:29

Regardless, blue or black ink is still easy on the eyes, and it is ridiculous to fail a student for something so small. A few points off maybe. But really? Fail? The point of education is to teach you and prove that you are learning. Not destroy hours of hard work because of ink color. In the end, their education is the same and their grade should reflect their effort. Now if it were pink ink, I could understand. And why the hell was this not typed?

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Saturday 26 September 2009 9:56

Since when do people still have to hand-write papers? I know that there are crazy rules about typing and printing out papers, but why didn't she want you to print it?

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Sunday 27 September 2009 2:36

My french teacher last year did that...and she only ever mentioned that kind of thing once. and she took off full points if you didn't space it right. Or didn't draw lines on the page at certain areas.

NoIsoldeForTris 0

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Monday 28 September 2009 9:18

oh man i wish my teachers would try some shit like that on me if i was still in highschool omg that would be fun cursing them out lmfao

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Friday 30 October 2009 23:35

Pretty sure they're referring to college, since you basically never have to write a 10 page paper in high school

D94C 0

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Saturday 16 January 2010 0:12

At my highschool, when you are a sophmore, junior and senior, you have to do a research paper, which is 10 pages.. In senior year, we have to write a 28 page essay on Sacco and Vanzetti...

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Tuesday 16 February 2010 8:04

senior project it is a 8-12 page paper. 8 for a c or d and up grade per page

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Saturday 13 March 2010 17:24

it should have been ok as long as it wasn't I'm red...

lildrummerboy47 0

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Tuesday 3 August 2010 5:32

I HATE THOSE TEACHERS!!! HOLY CRAP!! fyl op. I really feel for you.

fightingkittens 39

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Thursday 28 July 2011 8:58

142--I had to write 10 page essays in middle school.

bacon_lover100 11

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Tuesday 7 January 2014 5:00

@137, you are a complete idiot.

Spyingcheeseman 8

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Thursday 20 February 2014 19:40

#137 Go back to your home on Whore Island!

allmidnighteyes 10

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Thursday 24 September 2009 9:32

Once you go black, you never go ba- waaaiiit a minute ಠ_ಠ

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Thursday 24 September 2009 11:03

#2 is epic win. But I don't see why something like that would be so important.

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Tuesday 29 September 2009 4:59

black and white copy machine? ya, might've helped

Ninjasaurus18 9

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Sunday 29 April 2012 13:31

Hahaha!!! How do you make those faces?!?!

nl98 0

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Thursday 24 September 2009 9:37

umm......i agree with number one, how about reading the requirements?

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Thursday 24 September 2009 9:43

Who the hell still makes you hand write essays anymore? Thats just horrible to read for the grader. Do you double space the essay at least? lol. #2: how do you make those symbols for the eyes?

Raptorix2012 17

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Tuesday 13 August 2013 17:06

its called the Look of Disapproval. Google it and You can copypaste it from there like so. ಠ_ಠ

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Thursday 24 September 2009 9:51

how cruel :[

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Thursday 24 September 2009 9:52

This will come in handy if you're ever writing contracts. Most times the contracts stipulate the color of pen that must be used. If you don't use that color, the contract could be voided.

Flying_Pink_Lulz 0

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Thursday 24 September 2009 11:23

I see you've paid quite a lot of "attentiom" to your detail :)

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Thursday 24 September 2009 10:06

That is the stupidest requirement ever. What does the color of the pen tell anyone about your ability? I want to smack the person who made that rule. I'm sorry, OP, that totally sucks. I can imagine a 10 page essay would have taken a long time to write, too.

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Thursday 24 September 2009 10:15

ouch...

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Thursday 24 September 2009 10:27

couldn't you just ask for it back and take a black and white copy?

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Thursday 24 September 2009 10:28

as if they made you hand-write a 10 page essay rather than type it up? bit full-on! shame. FYL.

Nearly

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16

You deserved it 10

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 17

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I found out I’m going to be a father, twice over, with two different women. Sisters, in fact. Only one of those sisters is my wife. Should I flee abroad, or walk calmly towards the firing squad straight away? FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 2 114

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 191