Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I learned the hard way that if you tell your child that they're old enough to cook their own food in the microwave, you have to make sure they're smart enough not to put the metal spoon in with the food as well. FML
Today, after getting home from work late last night and feeling lazy, I'd put my leftover dinner in the microwave, spoon and all. I wake up to find one of the kids started the microwave and it blew up because of the metal spoon. FML
Today, my mom and I had an argument about my laziness. We did this as I was eating uncooked rice because I didn't want to have to walk to the kitchen and put it into the microwave. FML
Today, in Home Ec, I struggled to open the microwave for almost 10 minutes in front of the whole class. FML
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
Today, for the very first time, I invited my girlfriend's parents for dinner. I bought a pre-made oven dish, just to be sure nothing could go wrong. Once at the table, her mother asked pointedly who forgot to remove the plastic foil before putting it in the oven. FML
Today, I was cutting potatoes. I was cutting them slowly, being careful, but my mom told me to cut faster, that I wouldn't cut myself. I cut myself. FML
Today, my daughter asked me how long she had to put her 2-minute noodles in the microwave for. FML
Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mother painstakingly spell out to me why broken glass is extremely dangerous. Feeling insulted, I jokingly asked her if she thought I was "retarded". I then got yelled at for "swearing." I'm a fucking adult, but my overprotective and condescending mother seems to think otherwise. FML
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Top comments
JustinThunder 8
Make her learn the hard way.
iAmScrubs 19
That's her mistake. She is probably one of those people that puts evertything in the microwave. "oh, I see a laptop, let's microwave that!"
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Comments (112)
MRSMOJORISIN_fml 0
ahh well someone has to be the parent
ydnar 5
here in the state we have to slowly explain to stupid mothers why they shouldn't put their babies in the microwave.
ydnar 5
I meant here in the states
at1325 0
i read about that. it was awful. I don't think she thought it was safe to microwave her 28 day old daughter for over 2 minutes, she is just an evil bitch.
kapippenger 0
is your mom 95 by any chance?
darkkai 0
let the fireworks ignite lol
pinkspaceboundro 0
???? I'm assuming your mother taught you how to walk, talk, use the toilet and everything else- so god forbid you have to educate her on a microwave. be patient with her. if she puts metal in the microwave, she will see what happens and understand why she can't. it's learning.
turtle_brigade 0
there's a big difference between the learning processes of a newborn and a grown-ass woman putting metal in a microwave when she was just informed of the consequences.
pinkspaceboundro 0
not if she has never had one- I'm assuming for whatever reason- she has never had the luxury of cooking with one, therefore she is gonna experiment or do whatever. she may have not understood why not? I don't know- I'm just saying hive her the benefit of the doubt
RainbowHeadache 2
Sometimes I chalk it up to age. Older people normally think they're superior and you're in the wrong. For example when I was 11 weeks preg I told my nana I wanted a girl but I feel like its a boy. She said "DON'T JINX IT!!" to which I replied that the baby's had genitals formed for at least a week so no amount of jinxing will magically make it change gender. She got all huffy and said "I think I would know since I have three kids but I guess I'm just stupid then?!" lol old people.
geeksaresexy 18
Yeah that and genetics sets the gender of the child at conception.. Some old people are hilarious..
RainbowHeadache 2
New things are being discovered all the time. She's just really set in her ways. Another example is she thinks **** is a bad word but not twat and still thinks left handedness is the sign of the devil.
geeksaresexy 18
Now that it one awesome old person! My nan is just racist, not interesting or funny in the slightest.
RainbowHeadache 2
Huh one time we were watching Opera & my papa said "I don't like that woman." My nana said, "It's cuz she's black! :D" I was smh so much. lol
RainbowHeadache 2
Oh and she was trying to call herself a slob one time and called herself a **** on accident. Still haven't let her live it down. It was hilarious.
geeksaresexy 18
Whereas I just get that my mum wasn't good enough for my dad because mum's from a working class family (my nan thinks her family is middle class but they're working class too). His new wife also isn't good enough because she's not white! Not only is my nan not amusing she's also not old enough for it to be cute yet..
RainbowHeadache 2
My nana really isn't either. She does some cute things but it doesn't make up for the ignorance & unwillingness to learn new things. :/
ADub55 0
F your microwaves life.
zowieandzander77 1
you are not smarter than your mother OP... you can put silverware in the microwave. in fact they recommend you put a spoon in water if you are heating it up. a fork for a long time could possibly spark bur it won't explode.. do your research before you claim to be so wise!
rjflores 0
did you tell her which microwave?
holagranola 15
wait.. you can't do that ?