Today, I had to explain to my 23-year-old female friend that when I get my hysterectomy, I will still be able to poop. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was finally having a conversation with my granny, who I don't get to see often. First thing she tells me was that she was going to have surgery soon, because her "women's insides" were "dangling out." FML
Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML
Today, I went to the doctor to see if she could check a lump in my vagina. She pushed the lump and asked, "Does this make you want to use the bathroom for a number 2?" I said yes. Turns out, it’s hard poop pushing against my intestines and the outside vagina wall. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Today, I found out after a lot of panic and a visit to the gynecologist that the lump in my vagina isn't cancer. I was just constipated. FML
Today, I had to listen to my best friend explain how to properly unstick one's balls from one's leg. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I started my period, complete with cramps, diarrhoea, a headache, bloating, and aching legs. Apparently my body didn't get the message that I had a total hysterectomy a month ago, including my ovaries, tubes and cervix. FML
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML
Today, as a nurse, I had to tell a 15 year-old girl that her red, sore asscrack was caused by consistently not wiping her ass properly. Seriously, when I examined her there was still poop, even though she swore she wiped this morning. I had to teach her how to do it properly, at 15 years-old. FML
Today, I, a 33 year-old guy, had to explain to my 27 year-old girlfriend that she does NOT pee out of her vaginal opening, but does in fact have a separate hole she pees from. She didn’t believe me. After showing her a diagram of the female anatomy online, she said, “Yeah well I don’t have one of those.” FML
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Top comments
bacon_is_life 12
Tell her it makes you become hysterical
serslybro 20
Lol! I hope you gave her an anatomy lesson!
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Comments (42)
irishmaiden78 23
I had mine just over a year ago. I have to keep explaining things to a friend as well how they did it, how I felt afterwards and all that jazz...
BrandiLush 31
I know exactly how you feel. I'm having a hysterectomy in 2 weeks and keep having to explain what that means.
Sasshole 4
I just had mine 2 days ago. Be prepared for major gas and pain. Nobody bothered to tell me they fill you full of air. Very painful and the 1st BM is worse than having a child! Good luck!
ohSNAPyall 27
"But you're getting your butt removed!"
MDoremis 38
This makes me slightly ashamed of being twenty three.
imunoz903 13
And that's about the time she walked awaaay from me, nobody likes when you're tweeeenty-three
Sora_McKain 36
Why the hell is wrong with me? My friends say I should act my age, what's my age again? What's my age again?
savemeSheehan 8
american educational system for ya