Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had to temporarily block my brother from calling me because every day for the last week or two he has called me just to yell, "THEY ARE EATING THE DOGS! THEY ARE EATING THE CATS!" before hanging up. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML
Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML
Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML
Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML
Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML
Today, my brother asked his wife for a divorce, but she got so mad at him that he backtracked and told her it was a prank I'd put him up to. She’s still mad as hell at him, but thanks to his lie my name is now mud in our entire family. I was at work all day, and I did nothing wrong. FML
Today, my brother called me up. He said he needed to talk to me. Whenever someone says that, I naturally I get nervous. He said, "I gave one of my friends your number." I was shocked and asked why. "Your life makes me sad." FML
Today, my mom tried to worm her way back into my life by manipulating my brother into doing the dirty work for her. I pretended to swallow the bullshit and invited her over, just so I could slam the door in her face. My brother says I went too far, like he somehow forgot what a shit mom she was. FML
Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML
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Top comments
RobinGoodfellow 47
Good for you for telling the women, though. They had a right to know, sooner rather than later. Hopefully your parents' shouting made an impression and your brother doesn't do it again.
AriaRose3 11
By the way-catfish means he pretended to be someone he's not and talked/flirted with them.
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Comments (61)
iSaidPluh 2
that is too awesome.
AliceIsOnAcid 2
I wonder what was going through the brother's head?
yerawizardlizzy 27
He probably felt his disability would prevent him from meeting anyone/having a legitimate relationship in real life. So instead, he went online where talking isn't really necessary and sought the affection he desired there. All while pretending he was someone without a disability.
UnluckyJulie 13
WTF did I just read...?
sweetnsourrr 11
What do you think?
Tripitaka 21
That's very nice of you!!
shinikageWolf 15
I would have made your brother right emails to them.
uguysarestupid 8
Do you mean he catcalled them since he can't talk
Raefy 10
Epic