Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to temporarily block my brother from calling me because every day for the last week or two he has called me just to yell, "THEY ARE EATING THE DOGS! THEY ARE EATING THE CATS!" before hanging up. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML
Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML
Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML
Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML
Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML
Today, my brother asked his wife for a divorce, but she got so mad at him that he backtracked and told her it was a prank I'd put him up to. She’s still mad as hell at him, but thanks to his lie my name is now mud in our entire family. I was at work all day, and I did nothing wrong. FML
Today, my brother called me up. He said he needed to talk to me. Whenever someone says that, I naturally I get nervous. He said, "I gave one of my friends your number." I was shocked and asked why. "Your life makes me sad." FML
Today, my mom tried to worm her way back into my life by manipulating my brother into doing the dirty work for her. I pretended to swallow the bullshit and invited her over, just so I could slam the door in her face. My brother says I went too far, like he somehow forgot what a shit mom she was. FML
Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML
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Top comments
RobinGoodfellow 47
Good for you for telling the women, though. They had a right to know, sooner rather than later. Hopefully your parents' shouting made an impression and your brother doesn't do it again.
AriaRose3 11
By the way-catfish means he pretended to be someone he's not and talked/flirted with them.
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Comments (61)
sstahpp 33
:/
xpsychocatladyx 15
I'm confused... there must have been more than just talking and flirting to deserve yelling and phone calls... you're good sibling OP
more4me 27
I'm sorry OP but that's hilarious! How old is your little brother? This sounds like a bored teenager's prank !
arachnophile 13
Yeah, taking advantage of and scamming people is always hilarious.
TheNiceOne 20
Catfish: To pretend to be someone other than who you are, while dating someone online. (Deceptive)
Econforthwin 15
I'm sorry but if you get catfished you're an idiot. years of only online talking and texting and not meeting is not a good relationship.
arachnophile 13
It's fairly easy if you never actually meet that person. Online you're going by honesty code alone. How do you know I'm not actually a spider?
Econforthwin 15
Well it's not that hard to download skype. Then we I see you on the other end, viola, you are not a spider. If they don't want to skype or meet you, then guess what stupid? You are being catfished.
domolovesyoshi 33
I can't talk on Skype because of psychological issues but I'm not trying to catfish anyone, it's always that black and white
Econforthwin 15
Can you not snapchat, send a video, meet in person, FaceTime or call and talk to someone? Cuz if you can't do any of those things I think you are a catfish.
TallMist 32
I didn't want to use Skype for so long because I thought it was a paid-for thing, so whenever I kept getting suggested to make a Skype by my online girlfriend (Now ex, though, but it was still a great relationship for quite a few years, even after getting Skype), I said no to getting it. I wasn't catfishing, however. Just because someone doesn't wanna video chat doesn't mean they're a catfish.
psyjoniz 12
love it when someone learns a trendy word then starts using it like everyone knows what they are talking about.
HeartYou101 31
...You do know there's a TV show on MTV called 'Catfish', right? It's not just some word someone made up for these type of situations and other people started copying them...
MzZombicidal 36
Trendy usually means a lot of people are aware. If not, it's not that difficult to just ask. :P
vikky538 29
at least one person family is trying to fix it...
tatertotx3 16
Mute but mischievous. He has a lot of time on his hands to catfish several different women. I see you'll be cleaning up his messes only as he gets older, FYL.
Al97 16
Now's the perfect time to call MTV.
ssketch 2
For everyone wondering, catfish is a term for people who go online and pretend to be people their not ( such as fake pictures ) and most of the time start to have relationships with people you stumble upon their fake profiles