Intimacy: Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not...

By gringa_Peru - 18/04/2009 01:19 - Peru

Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170 285

You deserved it 9 878

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By nevergoingonabusagain - 30/05/2009 06:52 - Canada

Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 295

You deserved it 5 721

Three's a crowd

By Anonymous - 13/08/2014 11:33 - Australia - Rooty Hill

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 699

You deserved it 4 023

By scarlet - 09/05/2011 15:02 - Canada

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 918

You deserved it 3 420

By Justme - 30/06/2016 18:20 - United States - Missoula

Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 134

You deserved it 1 488

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 07:49 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my shoulder as she walked past. This only made me realize that this has been the closest I've come to touching a girls ass in over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 580

You deserved it 6 278

By Anonymous - 26/08/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 904

You deserved it 3 724

By dickface - 28/03/2011 20:13 - Canada

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 829

You deserved it 30 082

By Anonymous - 22/09/2017 04:30

Today, I saw a creepy guy grab a woman's ass on the bus, so I caught his arm and put him in an arm lock, only for the woman to hit me in the head with her handbag. Turns out they were a married couple on their way home to have sex, and who couldn't resist a quick grope during the journey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 112

You deserved it 4 725

Slippy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs and the next seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 016

You deserved it 312

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 04:53 - United States

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 121

You deserved it 2 566

nodbor 11

Saturday 18 April 2009 9:19

even dicks need a place to rest.

Narsh 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 9:19

How could anyone possibly say that you deserved this? FYL indeed.

Comments

junjouromantica 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 11:29

#30, it just depends on the person's perspective. And boob's are just thought of as less dirty, I think. I would rather have boobs pressing against me than an erection. I would assume most people would, man or woman.

laurisshnazzy 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 12:09

I'm not calling fake or anything, but I'm trying to figure out how someone's crotch could end up being parallel to someone else's shoulder... oh, I guess he was standing up when she was sitting down. Nevermind, then. Anyway, ew. FYL indeed.

Kylaka 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 12:22

should have punched it.

tuyio 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 20:03

why would you want to touch it

I'madumbass 19

Thursday 6 July 2017 7:25

I agree. Who would touch that? Btw, I know that someone of the opposite gender touching your private area(s), especially in a harmful manner, is sexual harassment. Oh yeah. I am a sheltered dumbass, and yet I know the term "sexual harassment". Sigh...

Sessee 4

Saturday 18 April 2009 13:50

Rofl@punch suggestions. Punching an hobo's aroused dick... xDD

iDontFail_xD 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 14:09

How is his dick on your shoulder? Is it that long???

SilentGround 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 14:47

this is one of the worst ones i've read in a while. i would have freaked out.

gawdess101 1

Saturday 18 April 2009 14:48

I agree with #15. But I wouldn't say ALL men are like that, but most are.

soaked_ 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 15:08

catatonicsleep 17

Saturday 18 April 2009 15:20

According to 'The Throwback' by Tom Sharp antifreeze works well on unwanted penises. The character in question suffered immense pain and almost sliced his off trying to wash off the antifreeze with a lawn sprinkler.... Something to consider next time you ride the bus. I would have said you should have hit it, but I don't think I would want to touch it, don't know where it's been do you?