Intimacy: Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend....

By hornyloser - 02/05/2011 18:46 - United States

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 904

You deserved it 70 464

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 031

You deserved it 14 961

Big awkward moment

By JDLAX1924 - 05/08/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 847

You deserved it 42 699

By Anonymous - 02/11/2010 16:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 752

You deserved it 37 420

Listening in

By Anonymous - 20/11/2012 03:19 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 554

You deserved it 17 476

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 00:02 - Guatemala - Guatemala City

Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 852

You deserved it 6 583

Ahem

By Bucko321 - 30/03/2009 01:18 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 756

You deserved it 78 381

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 143

You deserved it 29 821

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 023

You deserved it 2 970

Saucy talk

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 032

You deserved it 7 886

The moment after

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 11:33 - Australia

Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 037

You deserved it 57 646

nuhuh 1

Tuesday 3 May 2011 2:38

Definitely. Because wearing condoms during phone sex prevents hearing aids.

tinytimmy2 2

Monday 2 May 2011 22:57

that kid is scared for life

Comments

YUMmMm 0

Monday 2 May 2011 23:40

LMAO... OP = FAIL

Rakistazz 0

Monday 2 May 2011 23:41

more worse..she put the phone on speaker.

FallonFerSure 6

Monday 2 May 2011 23:45

Why was the baby monitor on if you were in the room? Unless your mom is just trying to be a creep...

imnotcraZ 0

Monday 2 May 2011 23:46

really man? no one is that stupid...

babycakess10 0

Monday 2 May 2011 23:51

he's only a baby not like he understands. but next time do it somewhere a little mire private lol.

babycakess10 0

Monday 2 May 2011 23:55

more*

iStayTrollin 0

Monday 2 May 2011 23:58

it was phone sex. He didn't need a condom, duh.

imperialtl 12

Monday 2 May 2011 23:58

umm how old are you?

perdix 29

Tuesday 3 May 2011 0:00

Well, the good news is the kid will never ask his parents that embarrassing "where do babies come from" question. The OP gave him a blow-by-blow account of the transaction, that is, if he's worth a shit at phone sex.