Today, I had a conversation with the cute girl I like at work for the first time. I told her I worked in the camping department of the store, and we had a long chat about how she heard that the guy who runs that department is a complete dick head. I am the guy who runs that department. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to talk to this coworker I like and ask her out for a coffee next door. She was dismissive, cold and rude, and filed a complaint with HR. FML
Today, I had an epic, two-hour conversation with a brilliant, beautiful future leader of our industry. She's an intern. I'm just some loser horndog of a senior manager in another department. FML
Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML
Today, after doing inventory at my job, I was approached by a co-worker who I had always thought was cute. I tried talking to her, but it was hard as I kept trembling and stuttering from spending two hours in a meat locker. Now she assumes that I'm "special". FML
Today, at work I got told off by my manager for texting while working. Enraged by this, I trash talked her to the new girl at work. The new girl, a.k.a. my manager's daughter. FML
Today, the girl I like asked me to take over her shift at the place we both work at. Being nice, I readily took over. Later, I found out she went on a date with my best friend. He knows I like her. FML
Today, I was shopping in the mall. A cute store worker kept checking me out, so after I picked a few things I went up to her and started flirting. After a few seconds, she cut me off and said, "Actually I was watching you because you look like someone who would shoplift." FML
Today, I found out that a girl who I really liked at work, who is my manager and with whom I'm friends, and who knows I like her, has been secretly dating someone else who works there for a month, and everyone at work knew except me, because she didn't want to tell me. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
"Oh, you must've misheard them. It's like the telephone game; it probably started as 'that guy /has/ a huge dick' and then the H gradually went away with each telling."
ZombieSlaya115 17
Well if the conversation went well she might change her mind.
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Comments (50)
RichardPencil 32
"He's just misunderstood and really has a heart of gold. Sometimes his passion to serve customers and make them happy is resented by others. He is beloved by those close to him."
cootiequeen4444 11
sounds like an obituary
stressedartist 14
Prove her wrong then
Cynical_1 26
Well stop being a ********.
jessicasoho 13
Prove her rumors are wrong.
Zebediabolical 45
If you run a department, is it even kosher to be wanting to date someone else who works there?
OverFlash 15
Different departments might allow for some leeway. Wouldn't it mean that he has no influence?
Aspirax 13
How can you like someone you've never had a conversation with?
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Boobs
deathshead 19
ass
moonshinegurl77 17
It's called a crush dumbass
HeavyWeaponsGuy 21
he was number 1 (referring to op's name)
HUGBUG 23
********
writerchic85 26
Ask her who said it, then go chew them out. If they already think you're a dick you might as well.
ryand82 11
quit being a dick.