Today, I had a blind date with a really cute guy. Just when I was about to invite him back to my place for a nightcap, he took out a catalog of Russian mail-order brides and asked for my help in picking out the best one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML
Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML
Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend, "You're kidding, right?" FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML
Today, I was set up on my first blind date since my divorce. My expectations were low, but when she showed up, she was a smoking hot. She was way out of my league, she was delightful and kind throughout the date, but my low confidence shined through. That night she acquired an expensive dinner and a stalker. Me. FML
Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML
Today, a cute guy I recognized from one of my classes messaged me on a dating site. He wanted help with homework. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML
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Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
Aww you to are already making decisions together! Haha don't fall too much in love you crazy kids it's only the first date.
abceasyas123abc 12
Maybe this was his way of escaping a bad date which was about to get worse?
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Comments (60)
Phatkiller 1
that was his"out"
loserman67 36
OP - "Hey, that was a great date, wanna come back to my place for a nightcap?" Blind date - "Well, maybe can you help me with something first?" OP - "Umm , well, sure, what is it?" Blind Date - "I have this Russian mail-order bride catalog and a 20% off coupon that expires in two days." OP - "And you need me to do.....?" Blind date - "Help me pick one out, then you and I can get it on unitl my new Russian wife arrives in the States." OP - (leaves smoke trails as she runs away)...........
Wtf91101 3
Should have asked if the same outfit has a Russian Grooms catalog.
42billybob 5
Here's a tip: don't invite him back to your place on the first date... make it a rule. The only guys that will be disappointed if you don't are the kind of guys you don't want. Anyone can go through the motions on the first few dates. Wait for them to drop their A game.
Calyx_fml 22
He's just not that into you.
cajekraze 7
everybody needs an escape/abort plan. Personally, I find this one kinda genius
zebrapattern 6
a nightcap? am I the only one picturing Fred Mertz's night cap -_-
bubo_fml 11
Tell him..."I like the one with the full on handle bar moustache!"
MRVOlivia 22
At least make it Japanese mail-order brides!!!!!!!!! FYL
HomeAl0ne 20
As if the dating scene isn't hard enough, now you have to compete against girls who are certified tractor mechanics or potato sexers.