Today, I had a big argument with my girlfriend, after she tried to stop me going home, even though it was already past my curfew. I got home, only to find out I'm grounded for staying out late, and dumped for being "inconsiderate". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, I missed my shift at work. I had asked my girlfriend, who works at the same store, to text me my schedule. She sent me the wrong hours for today. I got suspended, and she broke up with me for being too irresponsible. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
Today, I dumped my girlfriend because she frequently wouldn't answer my texts or phone calls, and not call or message back for days. I felt that bringing it up made me a control freak. I couldn't take it anymore. FML
Today, my girlfriend ended things. We'd had issues because of my communication skills and her confidence, but we were working on it. The last straw? That I couldn't stay with her one night because I suddenly had to go home and take care of my sick mother. She then asked to talk and said I was neglecting her. FML
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming home past midnight. Normally, it wouldn't be unreasonable, except for the fact that I'm 24 years-old, and that my parents live with me, in my own house. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into an argument while she was in the bathroom. I told her I was leaving her because she's too needy. She came out of the bathroom and threw her used tampon at me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kappycone 8
Sounds like she's the one being inconsiderate.
TBelle4Ever 15
Balls are weak and sensitive. Grow a ******, those things take a pounding.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (101)
holeyman 8
Women just cause trouble
gc327072 31
Oh Perdix, is that you I'm hearing? I'm locked in this chest in the corner of the attic. How did I even get here? I was walking home and suddenly, a flash of light and... then I woke up here. What exactly is she planning to do with us?
marcranger 29
Still a better love story than Fifty Shades of Grey.
gc327072 31
DOC IF YOU DON'T CUT OFF YOUR F***ING FOOT I WILL DO IT FOR YOU! GET CRACKING DAMMIT!
perdix 31
#41, not quite sure. She's having me make phone calls for her campaign to be elected the local Queen of Ninjas, Zombies, Voodoo and Eggos. I don't know what's to become of me after the election, or which outcome I should fear worse. I should be scared, but her cackling and shrieking actually make me giggle.
thewife5 19
She has no respect for your parents... Next!
SpikyG 3
This is a great time to do Gangnam Style!
KiddNYC1O 22
Did you send it in?
Shawn_R_Carter 4
Look on the bright side! You're grounded, but it doesn't matter anyway, because you don't have a girlfriend anyway!
KiddNYC1O 22
Ezioooo. Funny, I was playing Assassin's Creed II today... Yes, I want a cookie.