Today, I had a big argument with my girlfriend, after she tried to stop me going home, even though it was already past my curfew. I got home, only to find out I'm grounded for staying out late, and dumped for being "inconsiderate". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, I missed my shift at work. I had asked my girlfriend, who works at the same store, to text me my schedule. She sent me the wrong hours for today. I got suspended, and she broke up with me for being too irresponsible. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
Today, I dumped my girlfriend because she frequently wouldn't answer my texts or phone calls, and not call or message back for days. I felt that bringing it up made me a control freak. I couldn't take it anymore. FML
Today, my girlfriend ended things. We'd had issues because of my communication skills and her confidence, but we were working on it. The last straw? That I couldn't stay with her one night because I suddenly had to go home and take care of my sick mother. She then asked to talk and said I was neglecting her. FML
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming home past midnight. Normally, it wouldn't be unreasonable, except for the fact that I'm 24 years-old, and that my parents live with me, in my own house. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into an argument while she was in the bathroom. I told her I was leaving her because she's too needy. She came out of the bathroom and threw her used tampon at me. FML
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Top comments
kappycone 8
Sounds like she's the one being inconsiderate.
TBelle4Ever 15
Balls are weak and sensitive. Grow a ******, those things take a pounding.
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Comments (101)
WrongRomance 11
What was her reasoning for you not to be home at curfew? You couldn't work it out over the phone?
watermelon1 35
Your username matches this FML perfectly, just saying.
lelo007 11
You got lucky, kid. It's never too early to learn what you shouldn't look for in a girlfriend.
gracehi 33
Should've left anyway and told her you'd call her when you got home. You'd probably still be dumped, but at least you wouldn't be grounded. But hind sight's 20/20, I guess. But if she'd dump you for obeying your parents' rules, she's not a girlfriend worth keeping. Who knows just how controlling she'd become if you stayed with her.
shadowsorel 15
I agree. A girl's gotta respect their boyfriends, their beliefs, morals, rules, loved ones, etc. OP - She's clingy, bitchy, and disrepectful. She wasn't worth your time. I wish you good luck on finding another one.
perdix 31
Now, when you say "dump," do you mean you're going to release me from the shackles in your basement, or you're going to dispose of my corpse in the river? I gots ta know!
pokefan813 16
What happened to Ezio? o.o
emeraldisle 30
23- Edit: Noor answered while I was typing. I fail.
emeraldisle 30
Ugh! Disregard my last comment. Apparently I'm too ******* slow to edit. Fail.
hopsinlove17 26
Still a better love story than....HOLY **** WHAT AM I SAYING? O.O
traveler_ghost 12
"So, you had a bad day."
lacespace 8
I love singing that to whining people
perdix 31
#25, yeah, maybe so. Since you have me hanging upside down, I could be disoriented. I think the other fellow up here is dead. You can put all the rouge and lipstick on him as you want, but he's dead as a doornail. I think you need to "dump" him (sense #2.)