Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to be delivered to me while he's out of town next week. I also got the bill for the flowers he's sending to the floozy he'll be seeing next week while he's out of town. The gift tag for it was: "I can't wait to see you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sent flowers to my ex, scheduled to be delivered after work in the evening. She texted me at midday thanking me for the flowers. I looked at my shipping order and they haven’t been sent yet. FML
Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's car from another girl telling him she hoped he liked the flowers. These were the same flowers he gave me while I was in the hospital, just after having his kid. FML
Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Today, I found out that the money my husband said he loaned to his "mother" actually went to the purchase of new lingerie for the woman he's cheating on me with. I just got the bill from the department store. FML
Today, I called my husband and he told me that he was going to invite his friend Jeff over that night. I told him I would prefer that he didn't come over. He took it to mean that I wanted to spend time with him and came home with flowers. Then had to tell him I was leaving him. FML
Today, I received gorgeous orchids from my long distance boyfriend. I was excited about it and told my parents. They still are convinced I have no boyfriend and I mailed the flowers to myself. FML
Today, I ran into my husband and his mistress. He was picking her up at the airport. I was catching a flight to a conference with my boss. He had flowers for her, and his arm around her. My boss knows my husband as well. FML
Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML
Today, I spent an ungodly amount of money to send my long-distance boyfriend a giant bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day. A few hours after making the non-refundable payment, he let me know we weren't going to work out, and that he was already sleeping with someone else. FML
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Top comments
hottay7164 18
Leave his stuff outside for when he gets back/ yard sale and change the locks. Cheating sucks. If you are not happy just leave, but don't stay with the jerk, makes you just as bad.
Quaileggs 12
Send him a message or call saying "don't even bother coming home" and pack his shit up
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Comments (105)
supertacowaffle 41
People like him disgust me.
Pordexel 5
Depends what flowers he sent her.
Doxy 22
Hopefully lilies because they are associated with graves. Where dead people lie. Dead like their marriage.
supertacowaffle 41
awkward when that's my name too haha
Doxy 22
Well...I got nothing. I'm just gonna retreat to my fortress of awkwardness and live with penguins for the rest of my life.
supertacowaffle 41
Forever a death flower xD
SmittyJA24 26
Idiots like him make it rough on all of us guys that have integrity & morals. Wedding vows are made to both God & the partner!!
TheMathMajor 26
Unless you're an atheist :)
Mr_Loudmouth 9
You lose
pandabear111787 14
Amen
MissWhitneyB 17
Leave his cheating ass.
HeadlessSparrow 20
Change all the locks to your house, and then go on your own vacation during the time he comes back.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
I see opportunity here for a nice revenge. I just hope you don't have kids with that scumbag
D3ATHZ3RO 15
Take his stuff and burn it all! U can do so much better!
perdix 31
When he gets back, see if he learned any new sex tricks from her. If he doesn't improve, dump his ass. If he gets you off like never before, keep letting him go out for "training."
Bobskittens1 12
That's a horrible idea! I'm pretty sure they aren't swingers.
perdix 31
#29, "pretty sure" they're not swingers? If he's letting the bill get back to his wife, he must have permission to see this other woman. Either that, or he's really stupid. . .
Inediblepeaches 15
And putting it on FML....
feelingold 18
This cracked me up. Sadly the FML crowd think you're being serious...
LadyNatasha 4
I wouldn't jump too far ahead... maybe he's going to see his mother, or something? That makes just as much sense as the flowers being sent to some random woman.
Dusty_Busters 15
Op would probably know if he was visiting his mother, co-worker or whatever if it casual... Probably.
Rana16 4
Atleast he got flowers for both!
6812 6
Well now you have evidence for your divorce case.