Miscellaneous: Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML

35 someone robbed a bank in a tree suit? What has the world come to...? "And only your wallet can prevent me from shooting you in the face." Lmfao gotta love Smokey.

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The Top

Today, I was treating a patient at the hospital where I'm a dentist. This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf. After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit. He got up, steadied himself, and spat straight in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 375

You deserved it 3 784

Today, I received another letter of rejection from the university of my dreams. I got it the first time, but thanks for reminding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 156

You deserved it 2 229

Today, my daughter turned one month old. I decided to give her a congratulatory kiss on the cheek. She decided to projectile vomit warm breastmilk into my partially open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 757

You deserved it 5 821

Today, I was handling corrosive chemicals when I accidentally spilled a beaker of Hydrochloric Acid on myself. I had to strip naked and use the emergency shower with my boss and my hot coworker watching. The worst part was when I realized my coworker was laughing at the size of my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 466

You deserved it 7 038

Today, I was at an awards dinner. I whispered into my wife's ear that she looked really pretty. She whispered in my ear that I should stop clapping so loud, because I was embarrassing her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 873

You deserved it 6 949

Today, my husband had his hands full with the shopping, so I was carrying the baby and the bag with our takeaway in it. I tripped down the steps and fell over. Did my husband ask if I or the baby were OK? Nope. But he did ask if I’d squashed his fish and chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 832

You deserved it 273