Health: Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal... - FML

By ifpigsflew - 04/10/2010 23:31 - New Zealand

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 187

You deserved it 2 771

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Same thing different taste

By Face - 09/01/2010 10:12 - Australia

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 344

You deserved it 34 733

By figgy - 29/11/2010 10:46 - United States

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 265

You deserved it 6 091

By Jopes - 10/05/2009 12:44 - United States

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 705

You deserved it 13 709

Gammon

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 06:00

Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 915

By jmac - 11/03/2012 03:06 - United States

Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 410

You deserved it 4 296

By knifewow - 20/10/2016 08:30 - Australia - Ashgrove

Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 422

You deserved it 13 435

By caitywebbkid - 11/12/2016 15:56 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 788

You deserved it 812

Not my day, is it?

By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 723

You deserved it 341

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 16:45 - United States

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 991

You deserved it 32 359

By opposableouch - 27/10/2009 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 989

You deserved it 7 968

Next

Top comments

SirWhatsHisFace 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 9:13

Spider pig, spider pig......

redbluegreen 40

Tuesday 5 October 2010 11:04

Unless Harry Potter attends.

Comments

Xavi89 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 12:03

lol

QwertyMcNugget 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 12:04

Best. FML. Yet.

TheWhiteDemon 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 12:29

swine flew hits again

averinoelle 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 12:39

Oh that's not the most random thing to happen..

beeship321 5

Tuesday 5 October 2010 13:14

What are your dogs names?

Timmy_Boy 17

Tuesday 5 October 2010 14:36

would be even funnier if you were a cop, pig hitting a 'pig' haha

lil_ham1644 29

Saturday 30 May 2015 17:52

Not all cops are pigs.

reddwarf_fml 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 14:41

salami's have wires?

nond2nv 4

Tuesday 5 October 2010 15:28

I'm confused, too.

bebe088 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 18:57

the things that hold them together at the ends.

scj 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 14:41

It's still good! it's still good!

AG_Lining 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 14:51

That's sucks, OP. Sometimes shit happens and the only proper response is to shrug and move on.

AG_Lining 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 15:04

57: Muslims actually believe inparts of the Torah and the Engel (New Testament). In other words, the same reason Jews avoid pork is the same reasons Muslims do. Hindus are those who believe cows are sacred. In the future, if you hear something contrary to what you think you believe, look it up! :)

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 566

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 871

You deserved it 43 967

The Top

Today, I told the guy I like to listen to a song that expressed how I felt about him. When he was done, I asked what he thought about it. He said it made him realize that his ex was the love of his life and that he wants to go back to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 004

You deserved it 7 542

Today, while I was working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good… you left a nipple." and slowly licked it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 683

You deserved it 3 668

Today, after saying I'd edit and revise a coworker's report so he could go home and spend his anniversary with his wife, he sent me a file. Upon opening it, it was pictures of men wearing strange fetish gear while being dominated. He has yet to send me the correct file and I'm scared to ask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 976

You deserved it 2 015

Today, I got trapped in the disabled toilet. When no one responded to knocking and shouting, I pulled the red cord. It still took a member of staff over half an hour to respond because he’d never heard that alarm before, and had to ring his manager to ask what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 94

Today, my long distance boyfriend got angry because I like touching myself while we sext. It "distracts" me from him. I'm sorry you turn me on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 367

You deserved it 3 297

Today, my wife got rear-ended and won't call the police, file an insurance claim, or send a photo of the wreck. She's too busy boozing it up in the city with her girlfriend. This is going to be an expensive lesson in adulting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 140