Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating an onion bagel and bit down on something hard. At first I thought was a really hard piece of onion. The "onion" turned out to be a tooth, and it wasn't one of mine. FML
Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
Today, I was running late for work, so I grabbed a cheap sandwich from a gas station. As I rushed to take a bite, I bit into something unexpectedly hard. I thought it was a tough bit of bacon, or some sort of nut, but realized it was a small plastic fork that had been helpfully hidden inside my sandwich. I'd already swallowed half of it. FML
Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML
Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when a guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached into his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML
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Top comments
everwaiting 0
Face it, darlin', you're stuck in an on-street production of Sweeney Todd and there's no way out...
Blue33_fml 0
omg ew...um where did you get the meat pie? Can't you complain and get your money back or press charges? FYL
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Comments (388)
disguisedxlies 1
As long as it wasn't actor, you're fine. Always arrives overdone. Well, everybody goes down well with beer, so let's hope you had some.
itsokay_fml 0
dude sue you can get a bundle for that kinda stuff!
JJ_TheJetPlane 0
Everyone is picking on the meat pie! In Australia meat pies are normal for lunch or what you eat whilst watchin' the footy! Soooooo I can see why the OP was eating a pie since it say's she's from Australia. However.... I'm from Australia and refuse to eat meat pies since my friend got one once and after taking a bite discovered the meat was green and growing.... -_-; *pats op's back* I feel sorry for you!!! Worst thing ever having meat pies ruined for you.
henry_fml 0
that's why i'm vegetarian.
blue_angel 0
#335 - (high fives) Go veg!
CanadianChipmunk 4
That's some sweeney todd shit right there. How unfortunate for you.
blue_angel 0
That sounds nasty! At least it wasn't YOUR tooth though...
SweeneyTodd_fml 0
Trust me dearie, its gonna take a lot more ale to wash that taste out, come on *leads you to back parlor* seriously? reminds me of the scene after the Beadle gets killed by Sweeney, when Toby is downstairs in the place with the meat grinder and he finds a toe in his meat pie first thing i thought when i read this was SWEENEY TODD but seriously, meat pies actually taste pretty good
SweeneyTodd_fml 0
even thats polite the worst pies in london. if you doubt it take a bit. is that just disgusting you have to concede it its nothing but crusting, here drink this you'll need it. the worst pies in London
doggie3 0
Haha
aussiegirl1990 0
OMG!!! The same thing has happened to me. At first I thought it was my tooth and then when I noticed it came from the pie I started gagging. We only live one state away... maybe we got the same cow? I now only eat chicken pies. Jessica