Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was eating an onion bagel and bit down on something hard. At first I thought was a really hard piece of onion. The "onion" turned out to be a tooth, and it wasn't one of mine. FML
Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
Today, I was running late for work, so I grabbed a cheap sandwich from a gas station. As I rushed to take a bite, I bit into something unexpectedly hard. I thought it was a tough bit of bacon, or some sort of nut, but realized it was a small plastic fork that had been helpfully hidden inside my sandwich. I'd already swallowed half of it. FML
Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML
Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when a guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached into his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML
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Top comments
everwaiting 0
Face it, darlin', you're stuck in an on-street production of Sweeney Todd and there's no way out...
Blue33_fml 0
omg ew...um where did you get the meat pie? Can't you complain and get your money back or press charges? FYL
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Comments (388)
nikapples 0
Meat Pie SURPRISE! But seriously, that's disgusting. FYL.
s_asking4 0
i think i just puked a little
Big_Boss_fml 0
Wat is ur guys problems with meat pies? For the most part, they are wholesome meals containing a combination of Beef, Cow, Chicken, Kangaroo, Rabbit or Horse meat and now...Human. Delicious and nutritious :D
unicorns4ever 0
what. the. fck. seriously, WTF?!?!??!?!??? i'd puke my freaking stomach out if that happened. and maybe cry a little bit. my suggestion: go veg. no joke.
lightedlotus 0
LOLOMGWTF. That's rank to the max... I hope you got a refund :) If it's any consolation OP, you're a genius writer.
l30n 0
"with mixed feelings of relief and horror" = lol
a_little_priest 0
Wow. I guess my nick has never been more appropriate...
xxXChiiXxx 2
The Worst Pies in London.... :D
Angry_Dad 0
What the ****!? "Who eats a meat pie?" Who DOESN'T eat a meat pie?! How have you not heard for a meat pie?!?! It's just cooked meat into a pie! Just like fruit pie, but not fruit. It's just like a hamburger. If s/he was eating a burger, you wouldn't say "YDI for ordering a burger because normal people don't eat burgers." Quit being so god damn annoying! I am shocked!!!!!! Anyways, FYL HARDCORE.
roznic 0
Times like these when i'm grateful i'm a vegetarian.