Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was eating an onion bagel and bit down on something hard. At first I thought was a really hard piece of onion. The "onion" turned out to be a tooth, and it wasn't one of mine. FML
Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
Today, I was running late for work, so I grabbed a cheap sandwich from a gas station. As I rushed to take a bite, I bit into something unexpectedly hard. I thought it was a tough bit of bacon, or some sort of nut, but realized it was a small plastic fork that had been helpfully hidden inside my sandwich. I'd already swallowed half of it. FML
Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML
Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when a guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached into his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML
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Top comments
everwaiting 0
Face it, darlin', you're stuck in an on-street production of Sweeney Todd and there's no way out...
Blue33_fml 0
omg ew...um where did you get the meat pie? Can't you complain and get your money back or press charges? FYL
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Comments (388)
Ranryu 0
That's what you get for eating a meat pie. Have you never seen Sweeney Todd? jk FYL
GlennD 0
HOW THE **** DID A TOOTH GET IN THERE?!?! o.O
metro_mello 0
Ew the same thing happened to me! Except i was eating a piece of pizza from little ceizures. I bit down and chewed and felt something hard in the pizza. At first i thought it was just hard pepperoni but then i took the hard piece out only to find it was a chipped tooth. ANd it wasnt mine. I will never eat pizza from that place again!
Jueezi 0
Yuck! Sounds like one of the "WORST PIES IN LOOOOOONDOOOON!"
hisbabygurl1 0
1. why would you eat a meat pie?? 2. that's sick I would go complain and get my money back then tell the health department! just don't give the restaurant the tooth give to health department
Houndourpup 0
blah aleast you got the good human pies. Before ol' nellie went to humans she made her pie out of bugs and pussy cats! Blech revolting!
choirgal 0
omgosh! sweeney Todd!
songsparrow 0
A least it wasn't a thumb. Sweeney Todd, lol.
manw 3
wat if it's a magical tooth and if u put it under ur pillow u get a million bucks in the morning? life has it's strange ways of working itself out, u kno. o yea, eeeewwwww
irishbebe 0
total sweeny Todd moment