Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was eating an onion bagel and bit down on something hard. At first I thought was a really hard piece of onion. The "onion" turned out to be a tooth, and it wasn't one of mine. FML
Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
Today, I was running late for work, so I grabbed a cheap sandwich from a gas station. As I rushed to take a bite, I bit into something unexpectedly hard. I thought it was a tough bit of bacon, or some sort of nut, but realized it was a small plastic fork that had been helpfully hidden inside my sandwich. I'd already swallowed half of it. FML
Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML
Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when a guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached into his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML
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Top comments
everwaiting 0
Face it, darlin', you're stuck in an on-street production of Sweeney Todd and there's no way out...
Blue33_fml 0
omg ew...um where did you get the meat pie? Can't you complain and get your money back or press charges? FYL
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Comments (388)
blablabla18_fml 0
Mrs. Lovett's meat pies, savory and sweet pies, as you'll see. Eat them slow and feel the crust, how thin she rolled it. Eat them slow, 'cause every one's a prize.
Avenging_Angel 0
Watch Sweeney Todd and you'll find out how it got there ;)
sadiesykes 0
oml, that's the most disgusting thing i've heard, ever.
konniex3 0
ew
band93geek 0
Ok, so I've seen Sweeney Todd (3 versions) 10 times. That's the first thing I thot of. All I saw was "meat pie" and I was like omfg!! "it's priest, have a little priest". seriously, because of the Tim Burton version I'd never eat a meat pie. You know, the whole thing with "worst pies" how Sweeney takes a chomp out of the pie..... -gags-. Anyway, that's my favorite film and Johnny Depp is the man and Helena is the perfect Mrs. Lovett... Ok I'm done now. Sorry I'm kinda, well a lot, unhealthily obsessed with that film. "And life is fully alive my dear, so let's keep living it, just keep living it, really living it!"
SweeneyTodd_fml 0
*throws Lovett into oven* yea ST was awesome! glad to see someone else likes it too i memorized the whole script (i bought the script)
Crickets 0
it was the priest!!!
prttyyngthng 0
"There's a SPECIAL PRIZE in EVERY pie!" And could SOMEONE please explain all the Sweeney Todd references, cause I've never seen that movie...
Vampire_princess 0
Sweeney todd is an awesome movie where he killed people and mrs. lovett would serve them in meat pies and sell them
curlybrunette 0
hollyy shit, thats absolutely disgustinggg!!!!, i hope you toook it back, complained, sued someone, or wrote a letterr, you could sue an get moneeey for that onee for suree
socalpersona 0
It's fop...finest in the shop...and we have some shepard's pie peppered with actual shepard on top.... LOVE Sweeney Todd! Sorry you had to discover that though...FYL
FigmentXY 0
guess they didn't grind up the babies... i mean cows... well enough