Miscellaneous: Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been... - FML

By Armstrong - 18/04/2015 23:55 - United States - Brownsville

Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 539

You deserved it 3 462

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Same thing different taste

By tokinallday - 02/01/2015 19:23 - United States - Kingsport

Today, my mom and step-dad tore my room apart looking for the stash of drugs they thought I had. I've never touched drugs in my life, and I guess they believe me now. Didn't stop them from making me clean up the mess they made, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 356

You deserved it 2 499

By Me myself & I - 19/04/2016 01:09 - United States - Columbus

Today, my parents said they know I don't do drugs or drink because I have no friends to do drugs or drink with. They are right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 827

You deserved it 2 027

At last!

By thehumanshield - 05/08/2011 08:41 - United States

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 197

You deserved it 2 805

Nice day, innit?

By Anonymous - 11/05/2013 05:15 - United States

Today, my parents scoured my browser history, certain that I have a hidden Facebook account that I'm using to get up to no good. Their reasoning was that there's no way my only friends are my relatives and that all I can post about is about the weather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 348

You deserved it 7 430

It's all downhill from here

By Anonymous - 06/10/2022 10:00 - United Kingdom - Farnborough

Today, my parents searched my room because yesterday they found one of my friends vapes in my bag, which they made me return. Sadly, they found a box vape with 2 e-juices and gave me a talking to. So now, I'm never allowed out of the house until I'm 18 (I'm 14 right now) and I'm never allowed friends over. Also, they're really mean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 2 427

The Devil's lettuce

By Anonymous - 10/08/2023 00:02

Today, my friend went to go pick up some weed from her dealer. That same day her parents were searching her room, so guess who posted it through my letterbox so their parents wouldn’t find it. Unfortunately, my very religious parents found it and now think I'm being directed by Satan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 179

By WaltTheFuckDad - 01/09/2013 23:06 - United States - Salida

Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 376

You deserved it 3 604

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 789

You deserved it 9 717

By Anonymous - 18/10/2014 18:33 - United States

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because, "Nobody's that happy without drugs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 945

You deserved it 3 065

By Theo - 18/12/2009 06:52 - United States

Today, I came home to find my room completely torn apart. My mom and dad start yelling at me asking me why I am doing drugs because she found a tiny baggie on the floor. It was the little bag that spare buttons come in when you buy a dress shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 911

You deserved it 2 230

Next

Top comments

poppunkette 22

Sunday 19 April 2015 13:10

Yet they don't realise you probably take the stash with you when you see your friends!

wakemeupplease 21

Sunday 19 April 2015 13:03

lol idk why I thought it's so they can have sex on every piece of furniture in the house

Comments

kozzard 17

Monday 20 April 2015 18:18

However, that also gets glitter all over the room, and no one wants that

PizzaElHutt 7

Monday 20 April 2015 20:20

If anything put a lock on your door.

snarkytruth 37

Tuesday 21 April 2015 8:49

It their house their rooms. I've known parents to remove doors from kids rooms before for punishment . We always had cheap hollow doors. Dad would have busted them down before we ever got the lock out of the package!

fruity_lover 7

Tuesday 21 April 2015 6:15

Oh my gosh is your last name armstrong?? And haha drugs

Gillett 23

Tuesday 21 April 2015 20:18

Sounds like Mom and Dad need to go and buy their own drugs

blackonblight 32

Wednesday 22 April 2015 8:59

Reserving judgement until we know if OP had drugs or not.

Deetz_Meerkat 2

Saturday 25 April 2015 4:15

Well, did you have any?

Stopcomplainin 0

Wednesday 29 April 2015 16:56

Damn if you didn't already assume they do this wherever you're gone in general, you have no insight whatsoever

shannon2348 14

Monday 18 November 2019 3:33

That doesn't even make sense. I'm pretty sure they could do that while you're in school.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse, and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 410

You deserved it 8 930

Today, I met my boyfriend in Hong Kong after being apart for almost 6 months. We got to our room and got right down to business. I was just about to come when a voice came over the PA system in the room. "This is just a fire alarm test, sorry for any inconvenience." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 132

You deserved it 5 932

The Top

Today, my mother-in-law threw bricks at my car. Her defense? I shouldn't have parked in her brick throwing spot, in my own driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 772

You deserved it 456

Today, it was my birthday, and even the person who seemed excited about me finally turning 21 and can legally drink forgot. Guess who got drunk alone tonight? This guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 152

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 879

You deserved it 8 262

Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 333

You deserved it 3 982

Today, I sleep on the floor every night because my cat has punctured three air mattresses. I was going to get a real bed with my stimulus check, but I broke my leg and had to pay for the doctor's bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 428

You deserved it 339

Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 314

You deserved it 5 637