Kids: Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She...

By Nick - 26/01/2010 21:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 70

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Top comments

_RobotInDisguise 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 1:27

Wow. That is ****** up - so basically the mum told her daughter you were the father but didn't think to tell you she existed?

mightybrit 6

Wednesday 27 January 2010 1:28

wow that's just awful. are you still in contact with the mom? if so then that's just messded up..

Comments

MarieT 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 2:27

old ppl shouldn't have facebook!!!!! only problems come from old ppl having facebook!!!

girlzrule94587 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 2:31

that sucks... not noing u had a kid. good lcuk with life later on. :(

OmgiLove 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 3:01

Gotta love technology :)

ohhhwordddx3 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 4:38

i've seen this like three times.

_TheSmallThings_ 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 18:40

I dont think u wanna kno how hard i laughed at this...

mandileebee14 0

Friday 29 January 2010 5:10

Atleast you know she is out there now, embrace it. :) It takes courage to try to reconnect with a biological parent, give her a chance. Baby steps.

period1tech 0

Friday 29 January 2010 9:07

that's harsh

mrmystery96 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 0:16

I'm thinking match stck men... sort of...

Omar1297 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 5:40

ydi. stop sleeping around with people your not commited too and you probably would have found out in a much more pleasing way

WhatDidYouSay0 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 5:56

must have been spring break, one year in college lol sry that sucks

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was, "Nice weather?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 840

You deserved it 39 862

Today, my girlfriend and I had the day off so we agreed fun by having the "afternoon in". In bed, that is. We got in bed, clothes off, and started to touch each other when she held her gut and yelled, "Oh shit! Oh shit! I have to shit!" She did a poop that came out like a waterfall. Diarrhea ended our fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 71

Random

Today, I walked into a gas station to get a bag of chips. Upon moving towards the counter to pay, I noticed the cashier had what looked like a golf ball stuffed in his cheek. I said to him in a joking manner, "That's a huge pinch of dip!" His reply, "It's mouth cancer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 628

You deserved it 51 752

Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm as she was lying on her back. I asked her, "How do you like that, baby?" She responded by asking where I bought my suspended ceiling and spotlights, as she thought they would look good in her flat. She apparently got bored instead of turned on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 849

You deserved it 17 678

Today, our entire crew team was at a yoga studio for an introductory yoga lesson. All my teammates could talk about how hot the yoga instructor was in her tight spandex while doing the sexy yoga poses. Everyone, including the coach, wanted to do her. The yoga instructor is my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 469

You deserved it 4 878

Today, my roommate said that whoever was doing the dishes was doing it wrong. I've been doing the dishes for weeks. So much for being a clean roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 149

Today, I left my four month-old daughter with my boyfriend of three weeks so I could go shopping in peace. I came home four hours later to find her screaming, hungry, with a dirty diaper. When I asked why he didn't do anything to help her, he said, "Why should I? She's not my kid." FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 1 979

Today, I texted my partner that I was “on my way.” I then sat on the couch doomscrolling for another 25 minutes. When I finally left, I ran into him in the parking lot, holding groceries, staring at me like I’d just lied for the fun of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 841