Today, I entered the crowded bus and one man sitting in the priority seat glanced at me. Upon seeing my protruding tummy, he quickly offered me his seat. I took the seat. I am not pregnant. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML
Today, while taking the subway home, a woman offered me her seat. I smiled and declined. She said she insisted because of my "pregnancy." I was too ashamed to say I wasn't pregnant, so I just took the seat. FML
Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML
Today, a sweet old lady gave up her seat for me in the bus. She lectured the entire bus that seats should be given to those in need, like myself who is "heavily pregnant." I'm just fat. FML
Today, a businessman in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
Today, as I stepped into a subway car, I noticed some free seats and began walking towards them. A group of girls standing nearby looked at me, then at the seats, and made a run for them. They then high-fived, presumably as congratulations for sitting down before the pregnant lady could. FML
Today, I was wearing a new $500 dress on a crowded train. I looked great and I could feel the eyes on me. A cute guy then offered me his seat, only boosting my confidence more until he said "for you and the baby," pointing at a bump in my dress. I'm not pregnant and wasted $500. FML
Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML
Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML
Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML
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Top comments
SailorButterfly 8
At least he was kind enough to offer his seat. And you saved him embarrassment by taking it instead of pointing out the error. I think the situation went as smoothly as it could. Maybe you can use this as your wake up call to finally get on a path to losing weight if it really bothered you. Mine was when I saw myself in a picture about 2 years ago...I was so big, my face looked like it was swollen from a bee sting or something. I was disgusted with myself, so I started doing something about it. 35 pounds lost so far. :)
xxmarlboroxx 0
bahaha you got a free seat and you're bitching about it? @5 grown up you jerk
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Comments (118)
johnw11 0
get on the mill fatty
perdix 31
He yielded his seat to the handicapped. Your big ol' potbelly is crippling any chance you have to get laid.
alexandraa_fml 0
He might have wanted to ride the waves.. :-O
perdix 31
You're thinking like a plumpa humpa!
Brian2127 0
Instead of posting FML's get on a treadmill fat ass!!
alexandraa_fml 0
He didn't think you were pregnant.. he has a tummy fetish. He wanted to blow raspberries on your stomach and find the treasure that awaits in your yummy overlapping rolls :3 Jump up and down and it might reigster on the richter scale- what my dad told me when I was a chunker, Hah.
Emperor_Jim 0
YDI for being fat.
Ashle1gh 14
Congratulations, you've learned about one of the only benefits of being overweight.
HanaxD 0
I can't believe your THAT huge he thought you were preggers. Go to the gym. NOW.
sulitak 27
if someone carries their weight that way, it could be as little as 25 lbs overweight. when my bff gains weight, it goes straight to her tummy and thighs. I'm 4mo pregnant with twins and when she was 30 lbs overweight she looked more pregnant than I currently do
tipoo_fml 0
Err, YDI for taking a priority seat you don't deserve?
rambone9494 0
I wanna ride ur waves alexandraa
aardvarkish 17
I asked a woman whether she was pregnant when I was five. It got a laugh but I never did it again.