Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my dad I want to enlist in the army and he tried to lock me in my room. He did almost the same thing when I told him I wanted to do certain college courses to make it easier to become a police officer, only there was a lot more swearing and throwing of objects. FML
Today, my dad is a drill sergeant, which is bad enough, but my boyfriend wants to meet him and my mom. This cannot go well, all the jokes and comedy movies say this cannot go well at all. FML
Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML
Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML
Today, my daughter asked me to join the Army so that she wouldn't have to see me anymore. She's four. FML
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, the day before I was going to move in with my army fiancé, he was told he would be deployed very soon. I can't pay for the apartment without him, and now have to move back in with my parents until he returns from active duty. FML
Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML
Today, my parents asked if I wanted to go to military school so I said, "Yeah, that would be awesome," thinking it was a joke. They weren't joking. FML
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Top comments
flashback.miss 28
He's just trying to get you used to it now. But, thank you for enlisting.
UsernameAnxiety 14
As a former Marine I feel compelled to say, hahaha.
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Comments (150)
FrankHotpants 31
Just get used to it now, it's what I do for a living and I most certainly enjoy sculpting the young mind.
graceinsheepwear 34
I get that you are an instructor and more power to you for that, but at 25, the young minds you are sculpting are what? Six years younger than you? I'd get a few more years on you before trying to credibly say you sculpt "young" minds. Just saying.
FrankHotpants 31
I'm not a life coach, I teach what is required for Navy life, I fail to see how my age has anything to do with that. Taking a civilian and making them fully capable sailors is very much so molding individuals.
Fuji76 15
Um, #77, just because the guy is young doesn't mean the minds he is sculpting aren't equally young. Give him a break.
lwonderful 11
Thank you for enlisting to keep the country safe
NodakN8V 25
Soldier up cupcake
LithFlavored 10
Sounds like he's excited and just trying to help. Good luck op
maverick628 4
Be in the right place, at the right time, in the right uniform, and do what you are told and you will be fine OP!
katbap 1
man, you should be happy about that. my ex husband was a marine, and before i went to army basic, he did the same shit, and he trained with me, got my run time up to par, and everything. had it not been for acting like a drill sergeant and pushing me through all that, i would have been a lot less prepared. be grateful. drill sergeants aren't your friends. get used to it, soldier.
cherylrenee 14
That's really not bad though in my opinion. My husband is in Basic Training right now and the entire time before leaving he was terrified for the time to come. I think being strong before you go will be a good thing. :)
bo501 4
Hooah! And the correct reply is YES DRILL SERGEANT!
Obey_StudBoii 23
Get used to it now and thank him in the long run. He's only trying to help.
mrlb94 6
Practice making your bed! And you need to be able to bounce a quarter on it. If the DI cant bounce a quarter on your bed you will come back from chow time with you and your groups bunks outside in the rain. Just a Heads up