Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my dad I want to enlist in the army and he tried to lock me in my room. He did almost the same thing when I told him I wanted to do certain college courses to make it easier to become a police officer, only there was a lot more swearing and throwing of objects. FML
Today, my dad is a drill sergeant, which is bad enough, but my boyfriend wants to meet him and my mom. This cannot go well, all the jokes and comedy movies say this cannot go well at all. FML
Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML
Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML
Today, my daughter asked me to join the Army so that she wouldn't have to see me anymore. She's four. FML
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, the day before I was going to move in with my army fiancé, he was told he would be deployed very soon. I can't pay for the apartment without him, and now have to move back in with my parents until he returns from active duty. FML
Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML
Today, my parents asked if I wanted to go to military school so I said, "Yeah, that would be awesome," thinking it was a joke. They weren't joking. FML
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Top comments
flashback.miss 28
He's just trying to get you used to it now. But, thank you for enlisting.
UsernameAnxiety 14
As a former Marine I feel compelled to say, hahaha.
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Comments (150)
HeartOfLead 24
The real drill sergeant is going to be surprised to see your indifference. The look on his face: priceless.
Yellow_Fish79 11
Well... you'll be well prepared. Hahaha
bhai33 9
Fk working for the rich
fatalwish 6
basic is probably the easiest thing you will do, unless you go airborne thats pretty fun and easy to... almost got that second bit out with a straight face. lol. but no seriously have fun with it. and take everything with a grain of salt your dad is just trying to help... sorta
Calingaladha 21
The 344th is the devil's playground
newstart11 9
Haha funny but really though as a person in a military family I thank u for Ur service
Wiz_Of_Oz 17
A little extra discipline never hurt anyone. Treat it as a leg-up for your training. I don't suppose many of the other recruits will have as dedicated a dad as yours.
bobbyjoe353 10
What branch did you enlist in?
Dawnstempest 17
Everywhere I go, there's a Drill Sergeant there.
BrandenUndead 5
Get used to it. Training comes faster then you think.
BrandenUndead 5
And I'm sure you really want to be one but never went for it.