Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my dad I want to enlist in the army and he tried to lock me in my room. He did almost the same thing when I told him I wanted to do certain college courses to make it easier to become a police officer, only there was a lot more swearing and throwing of objects. FML
Today, my dad is a drill sergeant, which is bad enough, but my boyfriend wants to meet him and my mom. This cannot go well, all the jokes and comedy movies say this cannot go well at all. FML
Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML
Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML
Today, my daughter asked me to join the Army so that she wouldn't have to see me anymore. She's four. FML
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, the day before I was going to move in with my army fiancé, he was told he would be deployed very soon. I can't pay for the apartment without him, and now have to move back in with my parents until he returns from active duty. FML
Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML
Today, my parents asked if I wanted to go to military school so I said, "Yeah, that would be awesome," thinking it was a joke. They weren't joking. FML
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Top comments
flashback.miss 28
He's just trying to get you used to it now. But, thank you for enlisting.
UsernameAnxiety 14
As a former Marine I feel compelled to say, hahaha.
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Comments (150)
EspyPsyche 11
I'm about to enlist in Air Force and I'm just keeping it secret till the day I ship out for basic training.
cmo333 10
Training can never start too early! :)
ThanksArmy 11
it isn't that bad, I loved basic. it's really the easiest thing in the army, just do what your told when your told. start distancing yourself from social media and technology, you'll lose that and start practcing penmanship letters will be your best friend for a while. Have fun I wish I was back in basic.
ellabellaboom 24
He's just trying to help :) it may be unwanted help but it's still an attempt. Maybe he's just really excited and proud. It's great that you want to serve your country :)