Today, I discovered that my obese 57-year-old mother’s flat-out refusal to close the door when she uses the bathroom doesn’t change even when I have friends over. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML
Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, my already disabled mother is on the brink of becoming bedridden due to her weight. I flat out refused to buy fast food or unhealthy food to keep in the fridge. She started screaming through the wall that I was beating her, until the neighbors called the cops. Sadly, this isn’t the first time. FML
Today, I answered the door at my boyfriend's house to an obese woman, who looked and smelled homeless, and rudely tried to barge past me to get inside. I told her to get out or I’d call the police. My boyfriend behind me saw this disgusting woman and said those two awful words: “Hi Mom.” FML
Today, I had to have a discussion with my 54-year-old mother about showering. She thinks it's perfectly OK to shower only once a week. FML
Today, I learned it's not safe to take a bath if my aunt is staying over, because apparently she was never taught the "Knock before you enter" rule if the bathroom door is closed. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 65-year-old mother that it is inappropriate for her to walk around in front of me in her underwear. Her response? "Too bad." FML
Today, my mom won’t stop calling up all her friends and family and even telling complete strangers about my "bowel problems." Even at parties, she talks about my pooping habits every chance she gets. This isn’t what I want to be known for. FML
Today, my obsessive-compulsive mother barred me from using the toilet she had just cleaned. She told me to wait until tomorrow. FML
Today, I had to sit and listen in mortification as my mother tearfully told our therapist how much sleep she loses over my being morbidly obese. She doesn't seem to care that I'm body positive and happy with the way I am. FML
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Top comments
sharond23 10
So would it be ok if she wasn't obese? and is this something she just started?
NostalgiaFreak9 43
That’s one hell of a name dude.
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Comments (28)
piinksock 17
When you're a mother you no longer go to the toilet alone. I haven't shit alone in 15 years. The second you shut a door, all hell breaks loose. Someone hurts themselves, a fist fight starts, someone needs their shoes tied, someone is crying, they want to ask a retarded question and it's vital you answer it this second. It might just be a habit. Or she's trying to tell you something, like move out.
worldclassrager 41
Love the name... Got some place where you and your buddies can avoid this issue like maybe like the basement your room or something?
rebelwithmouseyhair 18
TBF, she probably stopped shutting the door because of you wanting to go in with her. OK, you've grown a little since you were a toddler. However, if she's 57, you've probably grown enough to move out?
RichardPencil 32
Dump her! Oh, wait, too late! She beat you to the punch!