Intimacy: Today, I caught my cat humping my dog while he was asleep. I'm... - FML

By Black - 12/12/2008 03:31 - Lebanon

Spicy

Today, I caught my cat humping my dog while he was asleep. I'm sleeping with the door closed from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 304

You deserved it 3 832

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 20:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 582

You deserved it 6 492

By GiveADogABone - 15/10/2015 22:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 041

You deserved it 3 511

Surprise, human!

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 94

By Puppy Loverr - 25/08/2011 07:12 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 430

You deserved it 4 840

By Anonymous - 14/11/2014 02:14 - United States - Kennesaw

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 504

You deserved it 4 195

By catbum - 10/11/2016 03:54 - Canada - Regina

Today, I accidentally shoved my finger up my cat's butt while trying to push him off my nightstand in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 552

You deserved it 1 467

By Darling_Cherry - 02/01/2010 21:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized that the only male that has ever been in bed with me has been my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 148

You deserved it 6 929

Nutritious

By Anonymous - 19/07/2020 17:01

Today, I caught my dog “cleaning” the cat’s litter box. He won’t be giving me any kisses anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 276

By injuredwifelady - 23/02/2016 08:23 - United States - Omaha

Today, I was sleeping peacefully with my cat sweetly snuggling my legs under the covers. My husband dutch-ovened her, and she shredded my calves as she rushed to escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 834

You deserved it 1 993

By Anonymous - 31/07/2014 17:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my cat tried to jump up to the window, and missed. This would have been hilarious if I had not been sleeping under that same window, and then caught him with my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 653

You deserved it 4 793

Next

Top comments

_incredulous 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 8:20

lock the door some cats can open them

CryingHowls 0

Monday 4 May 2009 21:03

Today, I caught one of my cats humping my huge dog while he was asleep...even they get more action than me. FML

Comments

kurrri 0

Monday 7 June 2010 0:44

Sorry but this is pretty stupid. I don't really think I need to explain why, do i? OP.. you annoy me.

thedeepthinker 0

Friday 23 July 2010 17:32

Looks like I'm not the only one who gets uncontrollably horny....

beautikill 4

Wednesday 28 July 2010 17:52

i lol'd so hard!!!!! hahahahaha

injuryftl 0

Monday 16 August 2010 6:05

My bird (female) likes to hump my dog (female) in the butt..... With her beak >.> but it's safe to say that even my dog gets more than me even if it is unpleasant. FML

xXxXxMasonxXxXx 7

Wednesday 23 March 2011 5:24

wooooooooow

piepieburger 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 7:49

mmmmmm... sexy

iPunchedBigFoot 5

Tuesday 12 October 2010 5:17

Oh ya, well I know friend (your mom) that humps EVERYTHING!!

thedeepthinker 0

Monday 15 November 2010 6:05

Put yourself in the dog's paws for a second. The dog woke up with a cat humping him, that's pretty bad on my scale.

idklalaalala 0

Wednesday 26 January 2011 3:12

good call

michael15286 0

Wednesday 26 January 2011 5:13

Cat made your dog it's bitch!

whitecloud197 0

Friday 8 April 2011 22:04

hahahaha thats funny shit

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The Top

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I have no sex drive, but faked it to avoid hurting his feelings. It was after he confessed he is not attracted to women, but forced himself to have sex with me because he didn't want to admit he is gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 205

You deserved it 3 629

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 684

You deserved it 11 188

The Top

Today, I decided to see if electric dog collars work on human necks. They do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 715

You deserved it 119 043

Today, long after ten years ago when I answered the door to someone asking if my mummy and daddy were home, and I was 24 and it was my house, I just now got asked if my 30 year-old sister was my daughter. Time has not been kind to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 111

Today, I participated in a charity auction at my university where the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 605

You deserved it 5 643

Today, I found out my boss and some employees on my floor have bets placed on who can get the best picture of my ass. I found out when one of the pictures was accidentally sent to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 607

You deserved it 4 068

Today, I thought my knee hurt because of over exercising in the gym. Then I remembered it was because I smacked it against my chair so hard I crumbled down and couldn't move for 5 minutes. And how I remembered? I did it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 096

You deserved it 2 062

Today, my wife and I invited my boss over for dinner, specifically warning her not to bring her children due to our house not being childproof. She surprised us by walking in with her toddlers. They both shat on our carpets, then my dog knocked them into a wall. I guess I'll start looking for another job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 722

You deserved it 207