Today, for the first time in a while I decided to wear a skirt. Everytime I sit down my thighs trap air and make a farting sound. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML
Today, I was feeling pretty, so I wore a skirt for the first time in years. Two hours later, my thighs hurt from slapping together so much. I no longer feel pretty. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
Today, for the first time, a good looking guy was in my yoga class. Today also marked the first time I farted during yoga class. FML
Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML
Today, I decided to wear string panties. While in line at the mall, they became untied. I was wearing a skirt. FML
Today, I realized that the black leggings I wear quite often become see-through when I bend over. I have been showing the world my ass as well as my thong for over a month now. FML
Today, and for the first time in my life, I was unable to trust a fart. FML
Today, while waiting for my job interview to start, I tried to slip out a silent fart. It ended with shit running down my leg. FML
Today, I sharted while skiing - wearing a bib outfit and no change of clothing. FML
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Top comments
youdontsay123456 21
The worst part is when your legs start to sweat and then it sticks them to the plastic chairs :/
george_s_4 32
I don't really know what to say as I'm not a girl but I hope not too many people notice or care
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Comments (38)
fohfuucba 21
If you don't like wearing spats or leggings like other commenters suggested, you can also use baby powder or the body powder from Lush - or maybe cornflour? - to powder your legs, and it stops that sort of thing happening somewhat.
guttedbrit 26
I wear dresses regularly and when I sit down too fast or kind of 'fall/flop' onto the sofa, my legs make a noise like that. It's perfectly normal, OP. Or at least that's what I've been told!
Infrno 10
Wear a pair of thin cotton shorts underneath.
Rockinroyaltyx3 21
That's why you usually wear shorts under your skirt. It keeps this from happening, prevents chafing and redness. Oh and doesn't show people your ass. Do girls not do this? My mom would kick my ass/give me a lecture, if I didn't wear shorts.
Limeila 10
What's the point of wearing a skirt if you put a short under it?!
interesting33 37
I've never heard of people wearing shorts under unless it is a musical and they have to do high kicks or lifts or something
yerawizardlizzy 27
I've always worn shorts under my skirts, recently slipshorts. I don't want people seeing my business in case of a wardrobe malfunction.
8313girl 28
Very clever idea to wear shorts under the skirts. I've never heard anyone in my town doing it. Some of the girls forget to even wear panties under their skirts around here. Now that's a wardrobe malfunction and most of them you didn't want to see.
Waxwell 21
Depending on how short the skirt, get some leggings and hem them just above the part they are covering. This'll make it so your legs don't stick to chairs or get caught together and trap the air. Hope this helps.
AdamFarrell 9
that's why you cross your legs?
andrmac 25
Little Miss Farty Skirt
Lyshandra 8
Try Baby powder, it may helps a bit^^
awesumous 16
Oh no! We can't let people know our secret that people fart and that it is a human thing! Especially if their a woman! We must end this THIS instant!
Leviathene 34
I know your pain OP. When I wear dresses, I always wear black leggings underneath to stop myself from chafing and sweating (just cotton ones or I'd die, living in Australia). I don't have that thigh gap, and it stops me from wearing clothes I would like to wear. You can't let it get you down, you can make leggings look funky :)