Today, during a series of violent sneezes due to a cold, I bit my tongue. My tongue is now so swollen I cannot close my mouth and am drooling profusely. I have to get ready to go to my job as a cashier. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the dentist. I ended up having some work done and left with a numb mouth. I have school pictures in less than 2 hours and I can neither smile nor stop drooling everywhere. FML
Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML
Today, while at work, a sneeze snuck up on me. Ever sneeze so violently your fake tooth shoots into the cubicle across from you? FML
Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, I came down with painful sores in my mouth, just after having gotten over a cold. Apparently I'm allergic to the cough drops I've been eating for the past week to make myself feel better. FML
Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML
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Top comments
isallwaysme 27
here's your chhhhhaanggge *spits everywhere*
ChrisWaines 9
Oh, no bueno! Maybe you can pass it off as recent dental work?
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Comments (54)
DoubleR_Anna 4
Man that sucks! I remember when I got so sick that I lost my voice they still made me go to the registers no natter how bad my sneezing and coughing got! And I mean it got bad, I ended up throwing up but they still made me work.
scoobydoo75060 7
Good luck saying seven lmao
o_samaha 5
Don't forget your helmet and box of crayons!
Dawminator 16
That "bites"...
AmbrosiaFan 19
Go to work and sneeze on all your supervisors. Say you don't think you should be handling customers when you sneeze like that. Call in sick.