Today, during a series of violent sneezes due to a cold, I bit my tongue. My tongue is now so swollen I cannot close my mouth and am drooling profusely. I have to get ready to go to my job as a cashier. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the dentist. I ended up having some work done and left with a numb mouth. I have school pictures in less than 2 hours and I can neither smile nor stop drooling everywhere. FML
Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML
Today, while at work, a sneeze snuck up on me. Ever sneeze so violently your fake tooth shoots into the cubicle across from you? FML
Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, I came down with painful sores in my mouth, just after having gotten over a cold. Apparently I'm allergic to the cough drops I've been eating for the past week to make myself feel better. FML
Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML
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Top comments
isallwaysme 27
here's your chhhhhaanggge *spits everywhere*
ChrisWaines 9
Oh, no bueno! Maybe you can pass it off as recent dental work?
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Comments (54)
PonyTails13 3
call in sick
wannabesinger 16
Are you sure you didn't do anything else to your tongue as well? I've bitten completely through my tongue before, and while it hurt like a bitch, I never had it swell up on me to the point where I couldn't close my mouth. I wish you a speedy recovery, and maybe instead of having to call in, your boss may decide to send you home. Yes, it would make for a wasteful trip to work, but at least your boss would see you were truthful.
simoncat 11
You should stay home with a cold, rather than infect others by handling money with your germy hands.
nelroca 7
No matter what if she sneezes on it or not....Money is and always will be dirty. I work in a job that handles a ton of money and when I'm done handling it, my hands are all dark gray and grubby.
peachfuzz74 8
That's what calling off is for:)
Phoebe_Buffay 14
When I was in kindergarten, I fell and bit open my tongue, to the point where it was hanging by a peice of tongue that was still attached. Tongue injuries aren't too fun, huh OP?
nelroca 7
Probably a good time to call in?
JacobH34 10
That must have been one hell of a sneeze
jhicks123 10
At Walmart?
frugurka 2
I've bitten my tounge a thousand times, I even had my tounge pierced when I was younger, never had my tounge swell up like that. Are you sure thats what happend and not some sort of allergic reaction? Scary..
blackonblight 33
If they already had a bad cold, maybe the tongue wound reacted to those germs? Or other areas in the mouth and throat were already swollen so any amount of swelling in the tongue would be adding to that? Obviously I'm not a doctor, but just an idea.
furbyface711 9
Please call in sick. If I saw someone that sick as a cashier, I would complain to the manager. You ca get customers sick.
AmbrosiaFan 19
Someone as bad off as the OP I would definitely report them to the manager...