Today, during a series of violent sneezes due to a cold, I bit my tongue. My tongue is now so swollen I cannot close my mouth and am drooling profusely. I have to get ready to go to my job as a cashier. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the dentist. I ended up having some work done and left with a numb mouth. I have school pictures in less than 2 hours and I can neither smile nor stop drooling everywhere. FML
Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML
Today, while at work, a sneeze snuck up on me. Ever sneeze so violently your fake tooth shoots into the cubicle across from you? FML
Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, I came down with painful sores in my mouth, just after having gotten over a cold. Apparently I'm allergic to the cough drops I've been eating for the past week to make myself feel better. FML
Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML
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Top comments
isallwaysme 27
here's your chhhhhaanggge *spits everywhere*
ChrisWaines 9
Oh, no bueno! Maybe you can pass it off as recent dental work?
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Comments (54)
Spazz420 7
U shouldn't go to work as a cashier sick u will make all ur customers sick and if u work at a grocery store u r touching food
kenoswild 14
Thanks for the laugh. I was having a shitty morning till I read this. Well, hope your tongue recovers, and that you got through your day.
avapaige1234 19
Today, I went to buy some groceries. When I went out of the store, I was already wet with saliva and snot all over my body and groceries. Some cashier people should have just stayed home. FML
perdix 31
You mean you won't be able to ask every customer, "Did you find everything you were looking for?" Hallelujah! I hate when they ask me that! Do I really have the choice to say no, and have them hold up the line as we search for my missing items? You'll be a better cashier with the swollen tongue. If people have ******* coupons, they'll flop em out without your coaching -- time-wasting crooks!!!
DocBastard 40
So perdix, how do you REALLY feel about coupons? No no, don't hold back. Share your feelings with the group. Were you attacked by a coupon as a child?
perdix 31
#20, it's the people who try to use expired coupons, or didn't buy the required amounts, or who try to get the discount applied to a different item that make my blood boil. They get so irate when the cashier tries to protect the store from blatant theft. And they waste my precious time!
perdix 31
Many cashiers are independently wealthy and take the job for ***** and giggles.
VeganVampyre 27
You can still afford to take one or two days off if you have to. And if your tongue is too swollen to be able to close your mouth, then you can't talk, and if you can't talk to customers you can't really work. I recently had to take two weeks off from my cashiering job because I couldn't stand. I really couldn't afford it, but I didn't have a choice. This is why you save money when you are working. I used some of my savings to pay rent, and I let myself get better rather than go to work and make it worse.
himexcherry 8
I'm sorry that your sick OP, but when you are in job where you interact with huge masses of people like retail and hospitality, then it's probably best you stay home. Exchanging money is actually one of the most common ways to spread viruses...so...um...thanks for the cold?
Koleckai 16
Probably a good day to call in sick.
Zebediabolical 45
If you're contagious and go to work, especially in a retail environment where you handle cash, you're a dick. Period. Passing off your cold to your clientele is great customer service. On the plus side you've got more than one reason to stay home from work.
LilMsSunshine68 6
Stay home, try ice for the swelling, and relax!